Other Titles • The School of Rock • School of Rock
Quotes from The School of Rock (2003)
1
Dewey Finn: Ok, here's the deal. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means? Frankie: Doesn't that mean you're drunk? Dewey Finn: No. It means I was drunk yesterday. Freddy: It means you're an alcoholic. Dewey Finn: Wrong. Freddy: You wouldn't come to work with a hangover unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease! Dewey Finn: Hmmm... hmmm... What's your name? Freddy: Freddy Jones. Dewey Finn: Ok, Freddy Jones, shut up!
(162 votes)
2
Dewey Finn: Katie, what was that thing you were playing today, the big thing? Katie: Cello. Dewey Finn: Ok. This is a bass guitar. And it's the exact same thing but instead of playing it like this you tip it on the side... cello, you got a bass.
(164 votes)
3
Dewey Finn: Give me a platform. Let's rock, let's rock, today. Now do it to me. Lawrence: Let's rock, let's rock, today. Dewey Finn: That's good. Slap it, shoot it, ka-boot it.
(152 votes)
4
Lawrence: [to Freddy] You're an idiot. Freddy: Shut up! Lawrence: You shut up! Freddy: You wanna go? Tomika: You touch him, I'll shove those sticks down your throat.
(138 votes)
5
Freddy: Are we going to be goofing off like this everyday? Dewey Finn: We're not goofing off. We're creating musical fusion. Freddy: Ok, so are we going to be creating musical fusion everyday? Dewey Finn: Yes. Freddy: Cool!
(136 votes)
6
Dewey Finn: You, Freddy, what do you like to do? Freddy: I dunno. [pause] Freddy: Burn stuff?
(21 votes)
7
Dewey Finn: Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man. He's everywhere. In the White House... down the hall... Ms. Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!
(19 votes)
8
Dewey Finn: Your kids have all really touched me, and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.
(16 votes)
9
Miss Mullins: Sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Lemmons said that she heard music coming from the classroom. Dewey Finn: Uh oh, it looks like Mrs. Lemmons is on crack, right kids?
(14 votes)
10
Dewey Finn: Those that can't do, teach, and those that can't teach... teach gym.
(14 votes)
11
Lawrence: You're fat, and you have body odor!
(16 votes)
12
Billy: You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself... look at that bow tie. Dewey Finn: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie.
(11 votes)
13
Dewey Finn: In the words of AC/DC: We roll tonight... to the guitar bite... and for those about to rock... I salute you.
(11 votes)
14
[talking about what they hate] Billy: You. Dewey Finn: No, Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on. Billy: You're tacky and I hate you! Dewey Finn: Okay, you see me after class!
(15 votes)
15
DeweyFinn: Its gonna be a really tough project, you're gonna have to use your head, your mind and your brain too.
(10 votes)
16
Dewey Finn: Does any one have any food? [no one raises their hands] Dewey Finn: No, you're not gonna get in trouble. I'm hungry.
(8 votes)
17
[improvising an educational song] Dewey Finn: Math is a wonderful thing. Math is a really cool thing. So get off your ath, let's do some math. Math, math, math, math, math. Three minus four is? Summer Hathaway: Negative one. Dewey Finn: That's right. And six times a billion is? Marco: Six billion? Dewey Finn: Nailed it. And fifty-four is forty-five more than what is the answer, Marta? Marta: Nine. Dewey Finn: No, it's eight. Marta: ...No, it's nine. Dewey Finn: ...Yes, I was testing you... it's nine. And that's a magic number.
(8 votes)
18
Dewey Finn: [Assigning positions to the band members] Lead guitar... Zack Attack. On bass... Posh Spice. On keyboards, Mr. Cool. And on drums, Spazzy McGee. OK, Blondie, Brace Face, you're singing backup. All right, Tough Guy, Shortstop, Fancy Pants, get over here. You're on security detail. Billy: Can I be the band stylist instead? Dewey Finn: Of course you can, Fancy Pants. OK. Carrot Top, Roadrunner, Turkey Sub, we're gonna have a lot of equipment... And you three... [looking at the three tiny girls] Dewey Finn: groupies... As for me, I will be singing lead vocal and shredding guitar.
(7 votes)
19
Dewey Finn: [on sticking it to "The Man"] Yes! But, you can't just say it, man. You've gotta feel it in you're blood and guts! If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at the man! And right now, I'm the man. That's right, I'm the man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off? Freddy: Shut the hell up, Schneebly! Dewey Finn: That's it Freddy, that's it! Who can top him? Alicia: Get outta here, stupidass. Dewey Finn: Yes, Alicia! Summer Hathaway: You're a joke, you're the worst teacher I've ever had! Dewey Finn: Summer, that is great! I like the delivery because I felt your anger! Summer Hathaway: Thank you. Lawrence: You're a fat loser and you have body odor. Dewey Finn: ...All right, all right! Now, is everybody nice and pissed off?
(9 votes)
20
Dewey Finn: Those kids have a rare blood disease: "Stick-it-to-da-man-noisis". Battle of the Bands director: What's that? I've never heard of it. Dewey Finn: You're lucky. Because it's hell.
(7 votes)
21
Freddy: Come on man, we're on a mission. One great rock show can change the world... look out the window... Dewey Finn: [seeing bus and students] No way! That's so punk rock.
(5 votes)
22
Dewey Finn: Sell my guitars? Would you tell Piccasso to sell his guitars?
(5 votes)
23
Dewey Finn: God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.
(6 votes)
24
Frankie: Miss Mullins, you're the man. Miss Mullins: Thank you, Frankie.
(5 votes)
25
Tomika: So why don't you go on a diet? Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?
(5 votes)
26
Summer Hathaway: Groupie? Dewey Finn: What's the matter? Summer Hathaway: You want me to be a groupie? Dewey Finn: Well... a groupie's an important job. Summer Hathaway: I researched groupies on the Internet: they're sluts, they sleep with the band! Dewey Finn: No, that's not true. They're like cheerleaders.
(3 votes)
27
Dewey Finn: Who are you babe? This is my apartment babe. Patty Di Marco: Oh oh, not if you don't pay your rent, it's not.
(3 votes)
28
Theo: You're out. This is Spider; he's replacing you. Spider: What's up, dog.
(5 votes)
29
Dewey Finn: [raising his first three fingers] Read between the lines!
(4 votes)
30
Dewey Finn: Dude, I service society by rocking, OK? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music!
(3 votes)
31
Michelle: Mr. S? We came up with some names for the band. Dewey Finn: All right, hit me. Eleni: The Bumblebees? Dewey Finn: No, it's too sissy. Eleni: The Koala Bears? Dewey Finn: No, what are you talking about? It's too sissy. [Dewey sees Miss Mullins] Dewey Finn: Hey, Miss Mullins. Michelle: How about, Pig Rectum? Rosalie Mullins: Michelle! Dewey Finn: It's a science project.
(2 votes)
32
DeweyFinn: Does anyone have the guts to tell me off? Huh? Freddy Jones: Shut the hell up Schneebly.
(2 votes)
33
Dewey Finn: Now raise your goblet of rock. It's a toast to those who rock!
(2 votes)
34
Dewey Finn: I pledge allegiance... to the band... of Mr. Schneebly... and will not fight him... for creative control... and will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band.
(4 votes)
35
Freddy: Rock isn't about getting an A. Sex Pistols never won anything.
(2 votes)
36
Billy: Liza Minelli...?
(3 votes)
37
Dewey Finn: OK, Ms DumBum ain't your teacher today, I am, and I have a headache and the runs. So I say, time for recess!
(1 vote)
38
Dewey Finn: Does anyone play drums? Freddy: I play percussion. Frankie: Yea, that's cause he couldn't play anything else! Freddy: Shut up!
(1 vote)
39
[Dewey plays the song in the jukebox] Rosalie Mullins: I LOVE THIS SONG! Dewey Finn: Really? Rosalie Mullins: Yes! Stevie Nicks! Dewey Finn: Yeah... Stevie! Rosalie Mullins: You know she came to town and she did a concert and she was just so... wild! Oh my gosh! Oh! Dewey Finn: Yeah, she put on the best show I've ever seen. And she is so much better live than she is on the album! Rosalie Mullins: Yes, oh my gosh! No comparison! Dewey Finn: You know, I'd like to take the kids to a concert. Rosalie Mullins: Concert? Dewey Finn: There is one at the end of the month... but you have a policy about field trips. Rosalie Mullins: Would it be... educational? Dewey Finn: Would it be educational? It would be VERY educational they play Beethoven and Mozart and stuff. Rosalie Mullins: Maybe we can make an exception! Dewey Finn: YES! Rosalie Mullins, Dewey Finn: [singing the Stevie Nicks song while doing a high-5] Sings a song, sounds like she's singing whooo! Baby whoo! Said whooo! Rosalie Mullins: Well I went today, maybe I will go again... TOMORROW!
(4 votes)
40
Dewey Finn: Now, what makes you mad more than anything in the world? [sees Billy who has his hand raised] Dewey Finn: Billy? Billy: You. Dewey Finn: Billy, we've already told me off. Billy: You're tacky and I hate you! Dewey Finn: All right, see me after class!
(1 vote)
41
Dewey Finn: You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard-ass. And if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking them in the head.
(1 vote)
42
Dewey Finn: Listen! You can't leave. You haven't heard our band. Battle of the Bands director: Sorry, the bill is full. We're already overbooked. Dewey Finn: No, let us just play one song. We're all here, we're ready to go. Battle of the Bands director: [looks at the kids] Who are they? Dewey Finn: They're my band. Battle of the Bands director: Kids? What is this, some kind of gimmick? Dewey Finn: No, it's not a gimmick. I know, they're kids, but they're awesome. Just listen! Battle of the Bands director: Look, thanks for comin' down, but you're really not what we're looking for. Dewey Finn: [throws his chair across the floor] You listen to me! These kids have worked their little fingers to the bone just to play one song for you so you just sit down, shut up and listen! Battle of the Bands director: Sheila, call security.
(2 votes)
43
Dewey Finn: [teaching Lawrence a handshake] Slap it. [they smack the palms of their hands together and then the back of their hands together] Dewey Finn: Shoot it. [they pretend like their hands are guns and shoot at each other] Dewey Finn: Kaboot it. [they pound their fists together]
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