Anna (in Tess's body): Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper.
(8 votes)
2
Harry: [straws sticking out of his nose] Look I'm a walrus!
(4 votes)
3
Ryan: OK, where are we going next, Harry's school? Anna (in Tess's body): Oh, he can walk from here. Harry: It's 20 blocks! Anna (in Tess's body): Fresh air will do you good. Harry: But what about bullies? Anna (in Tess's body): Run fast.
(4 votes)
4
Anna: You couldn't last one day in my high school. Tess: Actually I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
(6 votes)
5
Anna (in Tess's body): I can't marry Ryan. Eww.
(3 votes)
6
Pei-Pei's Mom: Coo-kie?
(4 votes)
7
Tess (in Anna's body): Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us. Anna (in Tess's body): What are you? Tess (in Anna's body): It's me, Mom. Anna (in Tess's body): You're not my mother! Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I am. Anna (in Tess's body): Get away, you clone freak! Tess (in Anna's body): Don't you use that tone with me! Anna (in Tess's body): Oh my God, you are my mother!
(2 votes)
8
Anna (in Tess's body): Darling. Could you, like, chill for a sec?
(2 votes)
9
Anna (in Tess's body): So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like... Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay, you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready? Go! [they both bump heads and fall to the ground while Harry walks into the room]
(2 votes)
10
[first lines] Tess: Honey, wake up. Anna: No. Tess: Anna. Greet the day.
(2 votes)
11
[last lines] Pei-Pei: Mama! What are you doing? Mama! Grandpa! Harry! No! [tackles them, grabs cookies] Pei-Pei: Okay!
(1 vote)
12
Tess (in Anna's body): We'd like to speak to you about something that we think happened to us at your restaurant. Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, something that SUCKS.
13
Tess (in Anna's body): I don't believe in physical contact with the opposite sex. At all. Ever. Nothing.
14
Tess (in Anna's body): I look like Stevie Nicks. Anna (in Tess's body): Who's he?
15
Tess (in Anna's body): Role-playing! Her idea. New therapeutic technique. Switching points of view. Grandpa: If I switch with Harry, do I have to wear a thong? Harry: [mocking Grandpa] Earthquake. Save me. Earthquake.
16
Tess (in Anna's body): You pierced your navel? Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that. Tess (in Anna's body): When did you do this? Anna (in Tess's body): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16. Tess (in Anna's body): Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.
17
Anna (in Tess's body): It's easy to be you. I'll just suck the fun out of everything. Tess (in Anna's body): I do not suck the fun out of everything. Anna (in Tess's body): Fun-sucker.
18
Grandpa: [about Anna] Stop groveling, man. Let her come to YOU. Ryan: She'd come with a hatchet.
19
Tess: Root canal? That's not fair, they're not my teeth.
20
Anna (in Tess's body): Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning: let's don't and say we did. Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!
21
Anna (in Tess's body): Let's just say this cute guy asks you out. What are you gonna do? WOOOH.
22
Anna (in Tess's body): You mean we're like stuck in this SUCKFEST?
23
[as he holds Tess's hand] Ryan: One more day. Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, it's great we're getting married, isn't it? Even though my husband died. How quickly I've been able to get over it.
24
Pei-Pei: [about her mother] Oh, she's crazy. Pei-Pei's Mom: [subtitles] Like a fox.
25
Tess (in Anna's body): And what are you doing with this? [grabs box of french fries] Anna (in Tess's body): I'm eating. Tess (in Anna's body): You cannot eat fast food. Anna (in Tess's body): Why not? Tess (in Anna's body): Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!
26
Dottie Robertson: Loved your book, I actually read this one. Anna (in Tess's body): That makes one of us.
27
Tess (in Anna's body): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
28
Anna (in Tess's body): So, let's do this thingy. Ryan: You mean our wedding rehearsal? Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, whatever.
29
Ryan: You know what, I'm not really a prying kind of guy, but just for the heck of it, I was wondering what you were doing on the eve of our wedding straddling some guy on the back of a big black Harley? Anna (in Tess's body): Hello, it was a Ducati!
30
Anna (in Tess's body): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room. Tess (in Anna's body): Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.
31
Peg: Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?
32
Anna: You're ruining my life!
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