Production Companies Universal Pictures (present), Studio Canal (present) (as StudioCanal), Working Title Films (producer) (as Working Title), DNA Films (in association with)
Other Titles • Love Actually (2003) • Love Actually Is All Around • Untitled Richard Curtis Project • more
Quotes from Love Actually (2003)
1
[on sheets of poster board] Mark: [on sheets of poster board] With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls. [shows pictures of beautiful supermodels] Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this [picture of a mummy] Mark: Merry Christmas
(247 votes)
2
Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all? Sam: You really want to know? Daniel: I really want to know. Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help? Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah. Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love. Daniel: Sorry? Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it. Daniel: Aren't you a bit young to be in love? Sam: No. Daniel: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved. Sam: Why? Daniel: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse. Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love? Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
(146 votes)
3
Billy Mack: Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free.
(126 votes)
4
Prime Minister: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.
(107 votes)
5
Karen: True love lasts a lifetime.
(110 votes)
6
Colin: I am Colin. God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.
(24 votes)
7
Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit? The President: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special. Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister? Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.
(7 votes)
8
[At the altar, just before Peter is married] Peter: No surprises? Mark: No surprises. Peter: Not like the stag night? Mark: Unlike the stag night. Peter: Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake? Mark: I do. Peter: And it would have been much better if they'd not turned out to be men? Mark: That is true.
(7 votes)
9
[Rufus places the necklace box in a cellophane bag, opening one drawer and another, scooping amounts of small roses and lavender in the bag. He then pulls out a four inch cinnamon stick] Harry: What's that? Rufus: It's a cinnamon stick, sir. [he ties it around the bag with a piece of string] Harry: I can't wait. Rufus: You won't regret it, sir. Harry: Wanna bet? Rufus: It's almost finished, sir. Harry: [sarcastically] Almost finished? What else can there be? Are we going to dip it in yoghurt? Cover it with Chocolate Buttons?
(6 votes)
10
Jamie: It's my favorite time of day, driving you. Aurelia: [in Portuguese] It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.
(5 votes)
11
Sam: But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.
(5 votes)
12
Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here? Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours? Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer? Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes. Harry: I thought as much. Sarah: Do you think everybody knows? Harry: Yes. Sarah: Do you think Karl knows? Harry: Yes. Sarah: Oh that is bad news. Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it. Sarah: Like what? Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then after about twenty minutes casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies. Sarah: You know that? Harry: Yes. And so does Karl. Think about it. For all our sakes. It's Christmas. Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss.
(4 votes)
13
Colin: I'm on Shag Highway heading West.
(4 votes)
14
Parky: This must be a very exciting moment for you, fighting for the Christmas number one. How's it looking so far? Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach number one, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve. Parky: Do you mean that? Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it. Do you want a preview? You old flirt. [stands in front of Parky and flashes at him] Parky: *That'll* never make number one!
(3 votes)
15
[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister] Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir. Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble. Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!
(3 votes)
16
Sam: Let us go get the shit kicked out of us by love.
(3 votes)
17
Prime Minister: I'm not so sure politics and dating really go together. The President: Really? I never found that. Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.
(3 votes)
18
[Aurelia jumps into the lake with hardly any clothes on to save Jamie's book] Jamie: Oh God, she's in. And now she'll think I'm a total spaz if I don't go in too. [takes off his sweater] Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Fuck. It's cold. [Jamie falls in] Jamie: Fuck. It's freezing! Fuck! Aurelia: [in Portuguese] This stuff better be good. Jamie: It's not worth it you know, this isn't bloody Shakespeare. Aurelia: [in Portuguese] I don't want to drown saving some shit my grandmother could have written. Jamie: Just stop, stop. Aurelia: [in Portuguese] What kind of idiot doesn't make copies? Jamie: I really must do copies. [beat] Jamie: You know, there'd better not be eels in here. I can't stand eels. Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Try not to disturb the eels. Jamie: [screams in shock because of the eels] Oh God, what the hell is that?
(3 votes)
19
Daniel: Tell her that you love her. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't.
(2 votes)
20
Karen: Get a grip, people hate sissies. No-one's ever going to shag you if you cry all the time.
(2 votes)
21
Billy Mack: When I was young, I was greedy and foolish, and now I'm left with no one. Wrinkled and alone.
(2 votes)
22
Daniel: You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til it's over.
(2 votes)
23
[in Portuguese] Jamie: Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England. Sophia Barros: Definitely go for England, girl. You'll meet Prince William - then you can marry him instead.
(3 votes)
24
Billy Mack: Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.
(2 votes)
25
[talking about Peter] Sarah: Do you love him? Mark: What? Sarah: I just thought I'd ask the blunt question.
(2 votes)
26
Karl: Life is full of interruptions and complications.
(1 vote)
27
Karen: So what's this big news, then? Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster. Karen: The lobster? Daisy: Yeah! Karen: In the nativity play? Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, *first* lobster. Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus? Daisy: Duh.
(1 vote)
28
The President: I'll give you anything you ask for - as long as it's not something I don't want to give.
(1 vote)
29
Daniel: And I'm afraid there's something really wrong, you know. I mean, clearly it's about his mum, but Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know. Karen: At the age of eleven? Daniel: Maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.
(1 vote)
30
Prime Minister: I'd like to go to Wandsworth, the dodgy end. PM's chauffeur, Terry: Very good, sir. [they drive to Wandsworth] PM's chauffeur, Terry: Harris Street. What number, sir? Prime Minister: Oh, God, it's the longest street in the world and I have absolutely no idea.
(1 vote)
31
[to his girlfriend] Jamie: I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.
(1 vote)
32
[to a portrait of Margaret Thatcher] Prime Minister: Did you ever have this kind of problem? Yeah - of course you did, you saucy minx.
(1 vote)
33
Dec: Billy, I believe you've brought a prize for our competition winners. Billy Mack: Yes I have, Ant or Dec. It's a personalized felt tip pen.
(1 vote)
34
Colin: American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent.
(1 vote)
35
Juliet: We've never got friendly. I just wanted to say I hope that can change. I'm nice, I really am, apart from my terrible taste in pie. And it would be great if we could be friends.
36
Mia: I'll just be hanging round the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.
37
Daniel: All right, we can definitely crack this. I was a kid once too, remember. Now, it's someone at school? Sam: Yes. Daniel: Good, good. And how does she… or he… feel about you? Sam: *She* doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven. Daniel: Hmmm... [sits on the couch next to Sam] Daniel: Well... [grins] Daniel: Basically, you're fucked, aren't you?
38
[talking about her ex-boyfriend] Natalie: He says no one's going to fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. Prime Minister: Right. Goodness. Well, well. You know, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered. Natalie: Thank you, sir. I'll think about it. Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.
39
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well. Thanks for that, Bill. Billy Mack: For what? Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you. Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth. Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had? Billy Mack: Britney Spears. Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow! Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
40
Prime Minister: [on the phone to his sister] I'm very busy and important. How can I help you?
41
Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love. Joe: Right. Billy Mack: And I realized that as dire chance and fateful cockup would have it, here I am, mid 50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you. [pause] Joe: Well, this is a surprise. Billy Mack: Yeah... Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a maypole.
42
Prime Minister: Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?
43
[repeated line] Sarah: [on phone] Hello, babe. No, I'm not busy, no - fire away.
44
[after walking into 10 Downing Street for the first time and falling in love with a member of the domestic staff] Prime Minister: Oh, no. That is so inconvenient.
45
[having just been exposed kissing Natalie on a school stage during a student concert in front of hundreds of children and parents] Prime Minister: Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped. Natalie: Right. What should we do? Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.
46
Prime Minister: I'd like to go to Wandsworth. The dodgy end.
47
[the Prime Minister is knocking on doors to find Natalie] Harris Street old lady: Aren't you the Prime Minister? Prime Minister: Yes, in fact, I am. Merry Christmas. Part of the service, now. Trying to get round to everyone by New Year's Eve.
48
[trying to make conversation with Aurelia, who doesn't understand a word] Jamie: No, right. Silence is golden. As the Tremeloes said. Clever guys. Although I think the original version was by, uh, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Great, great, great band. [hums "Silence is Golden"] Jamie: Oh, shut up.
49
John: So, what do you reckon to our new Prime Minister, then? Judy: I like him. Can't understand why he's not married, though. John: Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket.
50
[at his wife's funeral] Daniel: Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment. Some of her requests - for instance, that I should bring Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral - I am confident she expected me to ignore.
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