Other Titles • Johnny English (2003) • Johnny English: Rogue Male • Touch of Weevil • more
Quotes from Johnny English (2003)
1
Lorna Campbell: What are you going to do, Johnny? Sit in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself, or are you going to get out there and save your country? Johnny English: ...I'm going to sit in the flat.
(40 votes)
2
Johnny English: A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, sensitive hearing and a whole bunch of bigger brains.
(40 votes)
3
Johnny English: The only thing that France is adept at hosting is an invasion.
(38 votes)
4
Pegasus: Everything in order, English? Johnny English: I think you'll find it's rather more than just in order, Sir. You are now entering the most secure place in the whole of England.
(39 votes)
5
Johnny English: All right, so I was wrong about the Archbishop's bottom.
(35 votes)
6
Johnny English: Look pull yourself together, it's only a bit of poo.
7
[Bough and Johnny fall down a large hole] Bough: Are you all right, sir? Johnny English: Yes, I landed on something soft. Bough: That was me, sir. Johnny English: Ah. Good.
8
Lorna Campbell: I can't hear anything. Johnny English: I'm into ultrasonic.
9
[Johnny has just been accidentally crowned King] Johnny English: Arrest that man! And lock him away! [crowd cheers]
10
[Johnny and Bough are in a dark tunnel] Johnny English: It may be pitch black, but we can still see. Bough: Can we, sir? How? Johnny English: The Bedouin monks of the Al Maghreb mountains developed a system of sonic chanting. Bough: I see, sir. Johnny English: The sound of their chanting would bounce back off any obstacles, and using their highly tuned ears they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead. Bough: Brilliant, sir. Johnny English: However, you must always sing in E-flat. Johnny English: [singing] Thank you for the music / The songs I'm singing Bough: Is it working, sir? Johnny English: Extremely well, thank you, Bough. Johnny English: [singing] Thanks for all the joy that... [Johnny hits the tunnel wall] Johnny English: Ow!
11
[first lines] Johnny English: Ah, the Heckler and Koch G-36. Quite deadly in the right hands.
12
[last lines] Lorna Campbell: Aaaaaah! Johnny! Johnny English: Oh, f...
13
Lorna Campbell: [seeing Sauvage the Frenchman standing just behind English, who thinks that he's just another waiter in the party; not knowing that it's truely Sauvage, who also listens to everything they say] You obviously haven't met our host, Monseiur Savage. Johnny English: No, thank God! You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion. [he chuckles, then attemps to take a drink out of his glass, but just then notices Sauvage standing right behind him, not realizing that it's actually him instead of just one of the waiters, who even just heard his racial insult] Johnny English: [looking over at him] Sorry, can I help? Pascal Sauvage: [into English's face] Pascal Sauvage. [then faces and reaches his hand out to shake Ms. Cambell's hand] Pascal Sauvage: The jumped-up Frenchman. Lorna Campbell: Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you. Pascal Sauvage: Enchanté. [English is now looking dumbstruck and stammering in embarrassment] Pascal Sauvage: Of course, you are Johnny English. I've heard all about you.
14
Johnny English: My God, what have they done to you? Elderly Man: They've taken some of my blood. Johnny English: The bastards.
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