Other Titles • Kissing Jessica Stein • Seeking Same (2001)
Quotes from Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)
1
Jessica: I was surprised to learn that lesbians accessorized, I didn't know that.
(1 vote)
2
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy? Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.
3
Jessica: Oh, I'm a terrible insomniac. Helen: I'm so sorry. Since when? Jessica: Um, I don't know, since birth.
4
Helen: What does your therapist say about all of this? Jessica: Oh, I could never tell my therapist. Helen: Why not? Jessica: Because it's private.
5
Jessica: [to Helen] Oh, no offense... no offense. I mean look at you. Who wouldn't want to have sex with you. I mean 'do' you.
6
Helen: I took out an ad for Christ's sake. And I ended up with the Jewish Sandra Dee.
7
Helen: Who do you have to blow to get some fucking pussy around here!
8
Helen: Harvey Keitel. He's very sexy-ugly.
9
Helen: Don't decide right now, just let it marinate for a while.
10
[Josh is confronting Jessica after she made a private phone call] Josh: You a little jumpy today Stein? Jessica: No. Josh: You got a hot date? Jessica: No. Josh: Yeah. Who's the guy? Jessica: There's no guy. Josh: Oh come on, you're a terrible, terrible liar. Jessica: Trust me, there's no guy.
11
Martin: C'mon. C'mon. This is not something you can try on and see if it fits, okay? I can't put black shoe polish on my face and join a gospel choir, 'cause, I don't know, I don't feel so white no more.
12
Helen: It's just like kissing a guy. Joan: No it's not. Helen: No, it's not.
13
Jessica: Would you shut up, I'm atoning!
14
[two guys watch Jessica and Helen walk out of a bar, unaware that they are lovers] Cheesy Pickup Guy #1: [to the other guy] You see, that's the thing with women, especially those two good friends. They really know how to take care of each other.
15
Helen: Stop saying you told me, you're a terrible liar, it's one of your best qualities.
16
Dan Stein: You know, I've been hearing about "the one" for I don't know, like 20 years. I guess I thought it would be a guy. Jessica: I know, I know, but look, I don't even believe that any more. I don't believe there's just one person. I think there are, like, seven.
17
Josh: [after confessing his feelings to Jessica, he kisses her] So I guess I'd like to know if you have some sort of reaction to this. More specifically, do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow night? [she doesn't respond at first, and Josh adopts a look of defeat and embarrassment] Josh: Well, if you'll excuse me, I definitely need another drink. Jessica: [she stops him] No, wait. I'd love to have dinner with you, but I can't. Josh: What? Not the season? Jessica: [laughs nervously] No. I mean I cant have dinner with you because I'm with Helen. Josh: Oh, you're having dinner with Helen? Jessica: No. I mean I'm *with* Helen. Josh: [he looks at her in disbelief] Like *with* with Helen? Jessica: Right *with* with. Helen: [Helen enters from the stairwell] Jessica, they're starting to serve dinner. [Jessica exits] Helen: Hey, Josh. Josh: [still can't believe what he's just heard] Helen... [beat] Josh: how are you? Helen: [smiles] I'm good thanks. [she exits]
18
Jessica: Wait a second. Are you saying my life has no value? Helen: No! I am saying that maybe, underneath all the neurosis, you have a profound capacity for happiness that your're not allowing to exist. Jessica: How do you know? You just met me. Helen: You can't possible know who you are or how you'll respond to something until you try it. Jessica: I happen to disagree. I happen to think that if you know yourself well, you can gauge how you're gonna react to something. And I pretty much assure you that I will never be made happy by chanting for spiritual enlightenment. Helen: Or maybe you would. You can't know. Jessica: Trust me, I know. Helen: You know? Jessica: Yeah, I know. Helen: You know how you'll react to anything? Jessica: Pretty much, yes. [Helen than grabs Jessica and kisses her passionately, then pulls away looking at Jessica's silent, stunned look] Helen: [sarcastic tone] I guess you're right. You seem to know yourself pretty well.
19
[after their fifth make-out session] Jessica: So, I figure if we keep going it like this, we'll get there in like two weeks or so. Helen: Yeah, sure. There's no real rush. Jessica: Are you sure? Helen: Yeah, sure. Jessica: But you'd really... Helen: Not at all. Jessica: How about ten days? Helen: Ten days is better.
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