[last lines to Sofia] David: Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around. Sofía: I'll find you again. David: I'll see you in another life... when we are both cats.
(86 votes)
2
David: My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me. Even in my dreams I'm an idiot... who knows he's about to wake up to reality. If I could only avoid sleep. But I can't. I try to tell myself what to dream. I try to dream that I am flying. Something free. It never works...
(71 votes)
3
Brian: Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour.
(72 votes)
4
Sofía: I'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats.
(60 votes)
5
David: I want to live a real life... I don't want to dream any longer.
(57 votes)
6
Sofía: Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.
(17 votes)
7
Sofía: I think she's the saddest girl to ever to hold a martini.
(10 votes)
8
Brian: And I know sour, which allows me to appreciate the sweet.
(9 votes)
9
David: The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?
(6 votes)
10
Brian: Julie Gianni is your fuck buddy.
(9 votes)
11
Julie: Four times... it means something, David.
(4 votes)
12
Dr. Curtis McCabe: And you didn't immediately wanna sleep with her? David: Well, you know, I'm a pleasure delayer.
(4 votes)
13
[David receives his facial prosthetic] Dr. Pomeranz: It's a helpful unit. David: Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about [shouts] David: a fucking mask! Dr. Pomeranz: It's only a mask... if you treat it that way. David: Oh, no. It's great. This completely takes care of Hallowe'en. But what about the other 364 days of the year?
(5 votes)
14
Julie: Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not.
(4 votes)
15
Dr. Curtis McCabe: I'm real. I'm... I'm... mortality as home entertainment? THIS CANNOT BE THE FUTURE. Can it? CAN IT?
(4 votes)
16
Rebecca Dearborn: Most of us live our whole lives... without any real adventure to call our own.
(2 votes)
17
Rebecca Dearborn: What is any life without the pursuit of a dream?
(2 votes)
18
David: Thomas Tipp was right; people will read again.
(2 votes)
19
David: I'm frozen and you're dead, and I love you.
(2 votes)
20
Brian: You will never know the exquisite pain of the guy, who goes home alone.
(2 votes)
21
David: I wanna wake up! Tech support! It's a nightmare! Tech support! Tech support!
(2 votes)
22
Dr. Curtis McCabe: With all the possible respect I can offer a man wearing a latex mask and spouting conspiracy theories, David, believe me, you've crossed that bridge.
(2 votes)
23
Libby: You'll be meeting Rebecca Dearborn, my personal role model.
24
David: He never watched television, and yet his biggest magazine is still the TV Digest.
25
[Brian leaves the party drunk] Brian: I good you bid evening.
26
David: Even in my dreams, I'm an idiot who knows he's about to wake up to reality.
27
Sofía: Holy God. This is going to change my life in a zillion different ways. I must be nuts.
28
Various: Open your eyes.
29
Rebecca Dearborn: This is a revolution of the mind.
30
David: And to what do I owe this pleasure? Sofía: The pleasure of Sofia Serrano.
31
Thomas Tipp: Do you know they even got a... well, a nickname for you behind your back? Heh? Citizen Dildo.
32
Sofía: What about you? What's your nickname? David: Citizen Dildo. Sofía: Hmm. You are not staying over.
33
Thomas Tipp: ...maybe you should let people see you, yeah? I mean, the last time we were together, you were, you were, you were in a coma, and you were very fucking rude to me. You didn't say a word.
34
Thomas Tipp: But I say this with complete love. Claim your life. Learn to be an asshole. Don't... David: Two's enough. Thomas Tipp: Forgive me. But I still believe in this family, David, even if it's only you.
35
David: See, I've got this little problem. I've got a stalker. Sofía: It doesn't sound life threatening. David: But I need a cover. I need for you to pretend we're having a scintillating conversation, and you are wildly entertained. [Both laugh] David: I know it's tough. Sofía: I'll improvise.
36
David: Is it me?
37
David: No. Tell me now. Sofía: I'll tell you later. David: If something's wrong please tell me now.
38
David: Say everything now, now, now, now.
39
Brian: You're rich and women love you, and I'm from Ohio and I'm drunk. Can I tell you the truth? David: Everybody does. Brian: I dig her, and I've never said this to you before about any girl. But she could be, could be, could be, could be the girl of my fucking dreams. David: You're not from Ohio. Brian: I know.
40
David: You're not blind. You're drinking Jack Daniels, and when you drink Jack, you start in with that... Frank Sinatra, she shot me down, give me a cigarette, "King of Sad" thing. Brian: That I do. Give me a cigarette.
41
Sofía: But I just think good things will happen, if you are a good person with a good attitude, don't you think?
42
Edmund: It's been a brilliant journey of self-awakening. And now you've simply got to ask yourself this: What is happiness to you, David?
43
David: My father wrote about this in his book. Chapter 1... Page 1... Paragraph 1: What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?... Money.
44
David: Where's Sofia? WHERE IS SHE? Julie: I AM SOFIA.
45
David: Doc, once you've been driven off a bridge at 80 miles an hour, somehow you don't invite happiness in without a full body search.
46
David: These? These are more than headaches. These are steel plates slicing through my every thought.
47
[Sofía is taking David's mask off] David: How bad is it? Sofía: ...Well... your ears are in the right place... And the rest of it... is not bad at all. It's perfect!
48
Dr. Curtis McCabe: Dig deep, David.
49
Brian: You're in O.J.-land.
50
Julie: Don't ever say that word. I will never come over and bring you chicken soup and fuck your brains out again.
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