Other Titles • Scary Movie 2 (2001) • Scarier Movie • Scary Movie II
Quotes from Scary Movie 2 (2001)
1
Ray Wilkins: I want you to talk dirty to me. Brenda Meeks: I don't know what to say, Ray. Brenda Meeks: I'm going to piss on your face, fart in your mouth, and shit all over these walls. [Ray looks disgusted] Brenda Meeks: Too dirty?
(41 votes)
2
Cindy Campbell: Someone help. My pussy's gone crazy.
(26 votes)
3
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, this is just some bones. Would you run from Calista Flockhart?
(28 votes)
4
Dwight Hartman: Thanks, "Handyman". Hanson: I'm actually the caretaker. Oh, aren't those cool new skates? be careful with those, you don't want to fall and break something. Dwight Hartman: Oh, that's funny, that's funny. Let me give you a "hand." [starts clapping] Hanson: Why, that's awful kind of you. Why don't you give me a "standing ovation?" Dwight Hartman: Why don't you "lift me up?" Hanson: Ha, ok, I see where this is going. You look familiar to me. Were you in "STOMP"? Dwight Hartman: You can kiss my grits. Hanson: I think I'll be the bigger man, now, and walk away. "Walk" away.
(27 votes)
5
["Graduation" is being played on the radio, and Cindy Campbell is singing along very badly] Vitamin C (on the Radio): Hey. Will you shut the fuck up and let me sing?
(23 votes)
6
Ray Wilkins: Uncle Ray Ray has a game for you.
(14 votes)
7
Shorty Meeks: [while being rolled up like a joint by a weed tree] I'll NEVER smoke you again.
(11 votes)
8
Alex: [while having sex on the ceiling] Kinky's my middle name, bitch.
(10 votes)
9
[deleted scene] Alex: God is good. God is great. But not all the time, sometimes he could be a real asshole. Praying for 24 years, not one goddamn message on my answering machine. If you're listening and I know you're up there, thanks for all this food, since it's the least you could do. Amen. Let's eat.
(2 votes)
10
Alex: Why won't you talk to me? Hell House Ghost: Because you gave me crabs.
(2 votes)
11
Shorty Meeks: [Walks over to a caged parrot] Hey. Wuz up, little guy? Polly wanna cracker? Little Bird: No, Polly wants yo momma's sweet ass.
(2 votes)
12
[as Megan's head spins around] Father McFeely: Fuck this.
13
Shorty Meeks: Shut the fuck up, son.
14
Little Bird: You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
15
Hanson: HAhahHa, My germs.
16
Father McFeely: How is she? Mrs. Voorhees: It's gotten worse Father. She won't eat. She won't talk to me. The child won't let me touch her. Father McFeely: Yes, sometimes you have to give them candy, first.
17
Dwight Hartman: Let's split up. Brenda Meeks: Hold up! How come when anything bad happens, and we should stick together, you white people always say split up? Theo: She's right, we should stick together. Dwight Hartman: OK. [pointing to the white people in the group] Dwight Hartman: You, you and you, come with me. Shorty Meeks: Ain't that a bitch. [the three of them begin to cry] Brenda Meeks: We gonna die, y'all.
18
Exorcist Party Go-ers: [singing] Shake ya ass. Watch yaself.
19
Father Harris: [singing and playing piano] I thought I told you niggers not to mess with me.
20
Megan Voorhees: [while possessed] Your mother sucks cocks in hell. Father McFeely: [takes out a gun] Suck on this.
21
Shorty Meeks: No. I need a place to stay. Momma Dukes kicked me out.
22
Shorty Meeks: Yeah. [Rips out a page from his history book] Shorty Meeks: Free papers. [Rolls a joint with the page]
23
Cindy Campbell: There's a poltergeist in the house! Shorty Meeks: NOOOOOO! PLEASE, GOD, NOOO! NOT A POLTERGEIST! What's a poltergeist?
24
Father McFeely: Hi, I'm Father McFeely. Mrs. Voorhees: Yes, I'm so glad you're here. Father McFeely: I came as fast as I could. But you know at my age the little soldier needs a lot more thumpin' before it starts pumpin'.
25
[while exorcising Megan] Father Harris: And thank you God, for voting off that unholy bitch Gerri from Survivor.
26
Professor: Woah Woah woah WOAH Dwight.
27
Priest: [On the toilet] Lord, help me to release this demon. [farts] Priest: Oh, thank you, Lord. Oh... wait. [farts again]
28
Hanson: Who's ready for a wing? Dwight Hartman: Yours or the turkeys?
29
Dwight Hartman: How about I take these two legs... and shove them right up your ass - all the way to the knee.
30
[backing into the room Cindy has just walked into] Hanson: My bottom's coming through... watch for fanny, make room for fanny...
31
Dwight Hartman: I know what you're thinking. Did I fire three shots or a hundred and seventeen? Well, do you feel lucky... punk? Do you... feel lucky? [faster] Dwight Hartman: Do you feel lucky, punk? Hell House Ghost: Shoot me, motherfucker!
32
Buddy: Are you OK, Dwight? Dwight Hartman: I can't... I can't feel my legs. [pause] Dwight Hartman: Aaahahaha, I can't feel my legs. Ray Wilkins: You never could. Dwight Hartman: You stay out of this, all right?
33
Cindy Campbell: [after she punched Buddy] You gotta be quicker than that, pencil dick.
34
Hanson: [while reaching out to Dwight who is hanging from the third floor window] HERE. TAKE MY STRONG HAND. Dwight Hartman: NO. GET IT AWAY FROM ME.
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