Other Titles • American Outlaws (2001) • Jesse James (2000)
Quotes from American Outlaws (2001)
1
Jim: What are we going to do? [Jesse half-smiles] Bob: He's smiling. Jim: Is that bad? Frank: Very.
(15 votes)
2
Cole: Let's Ride! Bob: Now I would sound just stupid sayin' that.
(15 votes)
3
Cole: Everyone keeps callin' us the James Younger gang, why aren't we the Younger James gang, I mean, there are three Younger Brothers and two James brothers. Bob: The Younger-James gang is confusing. If we bust into a bank and yell "Hey we're the Younger-James gang", people'll be thinging the YOUNGER-James gang? Is there an older James gang? then poeple'll be thinkin' bout that instead of raisin' their arms. Jesse James: Can't argue with that Cole.
(15 votes)
4
Cole: Sadie was a beautiful woman, Sadie was not a man! Jesse James: She had a mustache, a nice mustache. Frank: I think she had more than a mustache! Cole: Well, she was European.
(15 votes)
5
Jesse James: Hey stupid, yeah you. Glad you know your name you dumb shit!
(15 votes)
6
Loni Packwood: This is the last straw. I came back from the war and my house was burned down, my cows were dead. My wife's run off with my cousin Jeb. That son of a bitch, he took my dog.
7
Cole: Gatling! They got a Gatling gun! Bob: Goddamn it Cole, this stopped bein' fun about two years ago!
8
Head Teller: Why sir, this bill is counterfeit! Jesse James: No, I don't think so. And I'll have to see the rest of your money to compare. Frank: Its a scientific method, I hear it all the rage!.
9
[During the gang's 1st robbery without Jesse James] Man: But the Younger gang rides with Jesse James. Bob: Hey, You wanna die? Man: No.
10
[to Zee] Jesse James: You got big. I mean, you aged. What I mean to say is you got big and older.
11
Jesse James: Your to young to drink whiskey Jim: If I'm old enough to shoot a man, I'm old enough to drink whiskey!
12
Jesse James: Hands off your hip Cole. Cole: Ain't scared are ya Jesse? Jesse James: Pick your fights cousin, you taught me that.
13
Jesse James: You got a plan. Bob: My plan of lying here pissing myself is working mighty fine, thank you very much.
14
Cole: Some Indian tracker you turned out to be, Tom. Comanche Tom: You wanted me to find you Bluecoats and there they are.
15
Confederate Soldier: The war's over, son. Bob: Well someone better go tell the damn Yankees!
16
Ma James: The Lord says we can bury outback in the orchard. No one will ever find him. Jesse James: Somebody sure is in a vengeful mood today. Frank: Why don't we let 'em go for today, Ma? Well bury 'em outback next time. Ma James: *sad* Aww... All right.
17
Ma James: Well, wadda ya know. The Lord is a lot shorter than I reckoned.
18
Allan Pinkerton: It's going to be a long spring.
19
Zee Mimms: If you don't see it, then it's not real.
20
Cole: Ma'am can ya turn around and cover your face with your hands please. Woman: Why? Cole: Cuz I'm gonna shoot this man and I don't think you wanna see it. [Woman turns] Cole: Thanks.
21
Cole: Why are we called the James-Younger gang? I think it should be the Younger-James gang, seeing as we got three Younger brothers and only two James. Jim: I kinda like the sound of the James-Younger gang. Cole: Jim, stay out of this. Bob: Oh, Jimmy's got a point, Cole. The Younger-James gang is confusing. Cole: How's that, Bob? Bob: If we run into a bank and yell, "We're the Younger-James gang!" People will start thinkin', "The Younger-James gang? Is there an Older-James gang? How come I've never heard of the Old-James gang?" And they'll be too busy figurein' that out instead of raisin' their arms. Cole: Do we even have the same mama? Do we? I got an idea, if shoot Bob and Jim I won't have anymore arguments.
22
Jesse James: Hey Doc, I was wonderin' if I could come by later. Doc Mimms: Of course, you know you're always welcome here Jesse. Jesse James: Yeah, I know, but I meant if I could come and take Zee out. No where far, ya know around here but, [clears throat] Jesse James: OUT. Doc Mimms: That's fine with me. Frank: [with a grin] Oh, don't you worry, I make sure these two are properly chaperoned! Doc Mimms: Why that thought hadn't even crossed my mind, thank you Frank.
23
Frank: That Zerelda turn into one hell of a women eh? Jesse James: Oh yea. Frank: "Big and Older"? Jesse James: You can shut up now, Frank. Frank: You are a charmer. Jesse James: I swear to god I will shoot you in your sleep. Frank: Next time try "Fat and Haggard"!
24
[Seeing Loni holding something] Bob: Whats that? Loni Packwood: It's my lucky rabbit's foot. I got it off that dead guy over there. Bob: Yeah, I don't think that ones worth it Loni.
25
Cole: Hey! Just because Frank reads all them books and uses all them big fancy words don't make him smart! Bob: Uh, yes it does.
26
Frank: From women's eyes this doctrine I derive, they sparkle still the right promethean fire. They are the books, the arts, the acedemes that show, contain and nourish all the world. Cole: I have no clue what you just said, but it sure sounded nice. Frank: That's Shakespeare, now he's European.
27
General: Get me the James boy! Tom: Jesse? General: NO! Not Jesse! I want the one that can shoot! Tom, Cole, Bob: FRANK!
28
Cole: Where you been buddy? Jesse James: What's going on? Cole: Well, nothin' really.
29
Frank: ...I just need a distraction. Jesse James: A distraction? [starts to smirk] Jesse James: Well why the hell didn't you just say so? [smiles and then runs] Bob: ...He's smilin'! Cole: That's never a good thing.
30
Jesse James: Distracting enough for ya'? Frank: Aw, they hardly even noticed you. Jesse James: So your saying I could have done more to attact their attention? Frank: Uh-uh. Jesse James: Such as? Frank: Well you coulda' worn one of those floppy women's Easter bonnets. Jesse James: Yea, that would've made an impression. Frank: I figure. Jesse James: See that's your problem Frank, by the time your done figurin' out stuff, I'm already finished doin' it. Frank: No Jesse, YOUR problem is you're always doin' stuff before I'm finished figurin' it out.
31
Jesse James: Alright, settle down. Not all this money is ours. Bob: Uh, well... no Jesse, it's the bank's... see that's why we had to go through all the trouble of stealing' it.
32
Jesse James: Let's go home, back to our farms. Cole: Platin' corn, harvesting corn... and eatin' corn. Bob: The corn gonna shoot at me? Cole: Nope Bob: Then I love it.
33
Cole: You tell anyone I said this... and I'll have to kill you cause everyone knows I'm the toughest man in this town, but you... are one terrifying son of a bitch with them guns.
34
Frank: Well, she's still talking to Jesus. Jesse James: What worries me is that Jesus is talkin' back! Ma James: I heard that.
35
Ma James: You're alive! Frank: Not if you don't ease up a bit ma!
36
Rollin H Parker: As you no doubt heard from your neighbors, our railroad is moving west... Jesse James: Yea, that makes sense cause, see, movin' east would put you underwater.
37
Rollin H Parker: Howdy folks, how you doin' today. Cole: Howdy? Jesse James: Yea, easterners.
38
Clell: What'll we do? Jesse James: Nothin'! You folks are gonna do nothin'! You're gonna go home right now, you too Doc, so you can swear on a Bible you don't know anything about what's gonna happen tomorrow! Doc Mimms: Boys... Jesse James: DOC! Go home. They ain't gonna hang no more Liberty boys
39
Zee Mimms: Tennessee? Jesse James: I'll explain on the way. Zee Mimms: When were you planin' on telling me? Jesse James: I just did! Zee Mimms: Only cause I asked! Jesse James: Damn, am I ever gonna win with you? Zee Mimms: Don't change the subject!
40
Zee Mimms: I can't believe I had to blow up a train for you! Jesse James: Well you are a hell of a woman... Zee Mimms: Don't swear!
41
Cole: WHOO! Goddamn, boy! When we get back to Missouri, I'ma' tell all them little gals 'bout how little Jesse James charged the entire Union army by hisself! General: Hey Cole, he keeps that up and it's liable to outrank you soon! Cole: Well I'll still be better lookin', won't I?
42
Cole: I'm the better soldier Jesse! Jesse James: And I'm the better outlaw! Jimmy: You both hate the railroad, that's all that matters!
43
Cole: The one time that one of us comes up with an idea... Jesse James: A BAD idea. Cole: Hey, I got us through the war all right. Jesse James: And nearly got hanged at peace time.
44
Bob: They got Cole! Jesse James: What happened, Bob? Bob: Well, those railroad men came to our place and offered to buy for two dollars an acre. And Cole - well - he kinda lost his temper. Frank: Oh, Lord. Bob: He just lost his temper a little bit! Frank: How many did he kill?
45
Frank: Any ideas little brother? [Jesse smiles before running off] Frank: Oh, Lord. [Jesse grabs a stick of dynamites and runs off] Cole and Frank: Oh, Lord.
46
[after Jimmy gets shot] Cole: Bob, get me some bandages. Jesse James: And some whiskey, Bob. Jimmy: Too young for whiskey. Jesse James: I think we'll make an exception this time, Jim.
47
[after Jesse blames himself for Jim's death] Frank: The railroad burned him out, too, you couldn't have stopped him. Jesse James: You're a piss-poor liar for the smartest man I know.
48
Jesse James: A war against the railroad... what the hell was I thinking? Frank: Well, I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.
49
Alan Pinkerton: Looks like you messed with the wrong bunch of farm boys this time.
50
Zee Mimms: [while reading a book] Hmmmm... Jesse James: "Hmmm" what? Zee Mimms: But the lives of the James gang wasn't all robbing and shooting. For these young Missouri bucks had a taste for the ladies. Especially the handsome and charismatic Jesse James. Jesse James: I beg your pardon! Zee Mimms: Blazing Guns of The West: The True Story of Jesse James. Only a dime in the hotel lobby. Jesse James: Let me see that. Zee Mimms: Oh, I'm not finished. "When he sauntered into a saloon, his spurs jangling and his pockets full of gold, the ladies flocked around him like a candied apple." Like I said... hmmmm.
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