La Miranda: I don't do tears. Matty Dean: Don't you ever get this angry? La Miranda: I don't do angry.
2
Princess Ernestine: Vito. Vito, girl, where are you?
3
La Miranda: You see this face! There will be no tears here, no tears!
4
Male Draft Officer: Are you a homosexual? La Miranda: Oh, sure... least so my boyfriend tells me.
5
La Miranda: Hey Bros. Bros and sisters with soul.
6
Matty Dean: How can they just do this? Like we don't have a fucking constitution or nothing. La Miranda: We don't! They do! Matty Dean: Who the fuck is they? La Miranda: America! Big America! The other America! Matty Dean: Fuck the big America! We're the real America, at least we believe in fucking freedom. Right? You don't even get what I'm talking about, do you? La Miranda: Yeah, little 'ol dumb me, how could I possibly get it?
7
La Miranda: Matty Dean, do they have draqs where you come from? Matty Dean: Well, naturally. La Miranda: Well, then you know it ain't hip to call a D.Q. he.
8
La Miranda: Is your family rich? Matty Dean: What's my family got to do wit this? La Miranda: I'm just trying to fig out how someone so smart could be so stupid.
9
La Miranda: Welcome to tiny-bop heaven!
10
Matty Dean: So, which are you? A he or a she? La Miranda: Depends on who's payin', babe.
11
Matty Dean: Who was your first? La Miranda: First lay? Matty Dean: First love. La Miranda: I don't do love.
12
Matty Dean: What do your family think of you? La Miranda: They drink to forget me.
13
Bostonia: Can't we just get away from this tired town? Vinnie: Where nobody knows us? Bostonia: Honey, nobody knows us here.
14
Female Draft Officer: Are you some kind of invert? La Miranda: Shy? Me? Oh, Mary!
15
Helen Wheels: So how late is he know? La Miranda: About 30 seconds later than you the last time you asked me. Don't piss me off!
16
Helen Wheels: All night, no sex? No wonder you look like shit.
17
Matty Dean: [posing as La Miranda] : Oh, doctor, how '50s you be. Me, I'm living in the other state, between maleness and femaleness. Psychiatrist: Which is? Matty Dean: Fabulousness!
18
Lucy Tania: If my mother hears the word "Stonewall" she has to take a heart pill.
19
La Miranda: Hey Lady Ernestine! Gimmie a shot of Jackie D, will ya? Princess Ernestine: That's Princess Ernestine to you, bitch. La Miranda: That's Princess Bitch to you, lady.
20
La Miranda: Matty Dean? Baby? I'm your knight in shining armor, baby. Your boy and your lady. I'm your mama lying. I'm your man. I will fight for you, dress for you... even cry for you. But only for you, baby. Never for them. NEVER for them.
21
Vinnie: Cryptika? Do you love me? Bostonia: Now what kind of asshole question is that? Vinnie: Did I ever tell you that I love you? Bostonia: No, you son of a bitch.
22
Bostonia: Don't push me, Mary. I am not in the mood. Uniformed Cop: Awww, she ain't in the mood. Ain't we in the mood? Are we on the rag, dearie? And what if my little buddy here is in the mood? [pushes Bostonia] Uniformed Cop: Poor little faggot don't know whether to kill me or kiss me. Bostonia: [Hits the cop] Guess I made up my mind.
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