Other Titles • Monsters, Inc. • Hidden City (1999) • Monsters, Incorporated (2001)
Quotes from Monsters, Inc. (2001)
1
Boo: Lookit.
(5 votes)
2
Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world. Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.
(2 votes)
3
Mike: [Spotting Sulley while he's working out] 118. Do I see 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it! Sulley: I'm not even breaking a sweat. Mike: Not you! The new commercial is on.
(1 vote)
4
Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today? Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night. Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away? Roz: Don't let it happen again. Mike: Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time. Roz: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always. Mike: Ooh, she's nuts.
5
Mike: I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV more often. Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"? Mike: Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.
6
Celia: [wearing a cone after being treated by the CDA] Last night was the worst night of my life, bar-none! [the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike] Mike: But I thought you liked sushi. Celia: Sushi? Sushi? You think this is about sushi?
7
[Mike and Sully are caught behind Boo's door] CDA Agent: This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight. Mike: [Steping out from behind the door with Boo's costume] Okay, okay! You got us. Here we are, here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say. [Takes Boo's sock out of his mouth and throws it at the CDA agents] Mike: Catch! CDA Agent: [as the others jump over the guy who gets the sock] 2319!
8
Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin? Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top. Randall: [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record? Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
9
Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door. Mike: Boo? What's Boo? Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem? Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me... [Mike pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor] Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical. [singing] Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.
10
Randall: Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes? Mike: I get a time out? Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the scare floor will be... Mike: ...Painted? Randall: EMPTY! I'll be empty, you idiot! See that clock?When the big hand is pointing up... [forces Mike's arm up] Randall: and the little hand is pointing up... [forces the other arm up] Randall: the door will be in my station. But when the big hand is pointing down... [forces Mike's arm down] Randall: the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?
11
[Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer] Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees - which is good news for you reptiles - and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED. Get up, Sulley. [Mike honks a horn right in Sulley's face] Sulley: Ahhhhh.
12
[Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo] Mike: I can't believe it... Sulley: Oh, Mike... Mike: I was on TV. Ha. Did you see me? I'm a natural.
13
[Mike and Sulley at a crosswalk next to a giant monster] Sulley: Hey, Ted! Good morning! [Ted clucks; light changes and they cross] Sulley: See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work. Mike: Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.
14
Mike: Oh, Schmootsie-poo? Celia: Googlie Bear.
15
[Mike complains to Sulley about Randall] Mike: One of these days I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson.
16
Mike: Can I borrow your odorant? Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster. Mike: You got, uh, low tide? Sulley: No. Mike: How about wet dog? Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.
17
Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight? Mike: Well, as a matter of fact... Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once. [Mike smiles innocently] Roz: Your stunned silence is very reassuring.
18
Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever. [Mike stares lovingly at her] Celia: What are you looking at? Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked. Celia: [shyly] Stop it. Mike: Your hair was shorter then. Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut. [the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear] Mike: No-no, I like it this length. [the snakes sigh in relief] Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said? Celia: What did you say? Mike: I said... [Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia] Mike: Sulley? Celia: Sulley?
19
Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous. Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me.
20
[Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose] Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from? Sulley: Mr. Waternoose. Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours? Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir. Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day". Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo.
21
Babysitter: Well, hello there. What's your name? Boo: Mike Wazowski.
22
Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.
23
[Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture] Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you? [Opens closet and walks inside] Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.
24
Sulley: Mike, that's not her door. Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door. Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it. Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door. [Mike opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room] Mike: (to Boo) You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane. Boo: Mowki Kowski. Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya. [Mike waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog] Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick? [Mike throws the stick through the door] Mike: Got get the stick. Go fetch.
25
Yeti: Milking a yak is no picnic, but once you pick out all the hairs it's very nutritious.
26
Mike: Sulley, what are we doing? Sulley: We have to get Boo's door and find a station. Mike: What a plan. Simple, yet insane.
27
Charlie: 2319. We have a 2319.
28
Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild. Sulley: Spoons? Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.
29
Henry J. Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way. [Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo. He instead finds the simulated child] Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. Henry J. Waternoose: [confused] Huh? What? [the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room] Henry J. Waternoose: [Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console] Mike: I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes.
30
Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win. Randall: I plan to.
31
Mike: Follow the sultry sound of my voice
32
Sulley: Are there kids in that village? Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...
33
Yeti: Welcome to the Himalayas.
34
[Mike and Sully have transported to Hawaii] Mike: Why couldn't we have been banished here?
35
Needleman: So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through." Smitty: Oh! What did she say? Needleman: You know my mom. She sent me to my room.
36
Yeti: Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy.
37
Randall: I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers.
38
[a monster runs out of a door, scared to tears] Assistant: What happened? Monster: The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me. Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six. Monster: I could have been dead. I could have DIED. Assistant: [slapping monster] Keep it together, man.
39
Yeti: Snow cone? Mike: Yuck. Yeti: No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon.
40
Henry J. Waternoose: No, no, no, no, no. What was that? You're trying to scare the kid, not lull it to sleep. Bile: I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing. [hisses] Henry J. Waternoose: How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.
41
Sulley: What was that? Mike Wazowski: I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.
42
Randall: Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.
43
Henry J. Waternoose: Well, Jerry, what's the damage so far? Jerry: We may actually make our quota today. Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, first time in a month.
44
Celia: [answering phone calls] Monsters Inc., please hold. Monsters Inc., I'll connect you. Mrs. Scaremonger is on vacation. Would you like her voice mail?
45
[Celia is hanging on to Mike while Sulley is dragging him] Celia: Michael, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through! Mike: Okay, here's the truth. You know that kid they're looking for? Sulley let her in. We tried to get her back, but Waternoose had a secret plot, and now Randall's right behind us, and he's tring to kill us. Celia: You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski? Boo: [peeking from Sulley's shoulder] Mike Wazowski! [Celia screams and lets go]
46
TV Anchorman: If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history. CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight. Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision. Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll. Witness #3: [has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing! Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!
47
Roz: None of this ever happened, gentlemen. And I don't want to see any paperwork on it.
48
Mike: You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!
49
Mike: Hey, genius. Wanna know why I bought the car? Sulley: Not really. Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking at all? Sulley: Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise. Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.
50
Mike: [as the Scream Extractor approaches] What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.
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