Scary Movie (2000)

"Scary Movie" -- Getting Stabbed Is More Fun
by Homer Yen
(c) 2000

Since "Scary Movie" is nothing more than a silly spoof, it would be unfair to measure it against the same standards as you would any other kind of film. The plot, thin as it is, revolves around the myriad of horror movies that have ever come out, and in particular "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer." In fact, one of the original titles considered was "Scream If You Know What I Did Last Halloween."

In this parody, a mad slasher donning the frock and ghost mask from "Scream" is plaguing a local high school, and no one can figure out who it is or why he/she is doing it. But if you're even thinking about trying to determine his/her identity or motive, then you're completely in the wrong mind set. Meanwhile, the characterizations, shallow as they are, serve no other purpose other than to usher us from one setup to another. The players in this film are a few of the Wayan's brothers and a few other 20-something actors who either fall victim to the mad slasher, scream at the top of their lungs, and/or engage in heavy tongue-kissing.

Thus, the question that begs to be asked is: is this funny enough to endure the 100-minute running time? In many ways, watching "Scary Movie" might remind you of any recent installment of "Saturday Night Live." It starts off with funny material but then quickly spirals downward as it becomes mired in unfunny gross-out gags, jokes that are insulting rather than irreverent, and a lineup of skits that strains for laughs but instead is greeted by heads nodding in disappointment.

The funniest, most clever, and probably least offensive segment happens at the beginning of the film. Desperately trying to escape the masked killer is a dumb, nubile blonde. She comes across a table loaded with a variety of powerful weapons...and a banana. Guess which one she picks? Then, as she runs outside, there are two road signs. One points towards safety. The other points towards death. Guess which path she takes?

There are some other funny tidbits including a take on the "Wassup" beer commercials and a parody of "The Matrix" (which would have been funnier if I hadn't seen the movie trailer a dozen times), but the clever ideas are at a bare minimum. The tone of the movie begins to shift. Jokes become extravagantly gross such as the butch, Swedish woman named Miss Mann who has a secret that 'she' wants to expose. This spawned more "Ewwwws" rather than chuckles. Gags also focus heavily on sex. There's a running theme about a boyfriend who encourages her virgin girlfriend to explore. And there's another ongoing gag about an effeminate jock who acts gay in every way possible but constantly denies it. The film also engages in heavy stereotyping. Admittedly, I was glad to see a movie patron, who talked incessantly on her cell phone and screamed at the onscreen actors as if they could hear her, get what she deserved. But the pleasures are slim at best.

Juvenile, lewd, and only sometimes funny, "Scary Movie" scores a 9 out of 10 on the Dumb-o-Meter, a 5 out of 10 on the Laugh-O-Meter. And a 3 out of 10 on the Whether-You-Should-See-This-Or-Not-Meter.

Grade: C
S: 3        out of 3
L: 2        out of 3
V: 2        out of 3

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