Other Titles • South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut • South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) • The South Park Movie (1999) • South Park: All Hell Breaks Loose (1999) • South Park Saves the World (1999)
Quotes from South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)
1
Saddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing. Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker! [rays shoot from malfunctioning V-chip and kill a demon from hell] Stan: Do it Cartman! Do it! Cartman: Damn! Shit! Respect my fuckin' authoritayyy! [shocks Saddam] Saddam Hussein: You need to watch your mouth, brat. Cartman: Dog-shit taco! Saddam Hussein: Quick Satan! Do something! Cartman: Try this on for size... Blood drenched frozen tampon popsicle! Saddam Hussein: Hey, buddy! I know I was mean before. But don't worry - I can change! Cartman: OK... not! Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand!
(2 votes)
2
Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right? [short pause] Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.
(1 vote)
3
Cartman: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
(1 vote)
4
Mr. Mackey: I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see Terrence & Phillip. Cartman: Everybody's fucking seen it. Mrs. Cartman: Eric! Cartman: I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
5
Cartman: It was the Terrence & Phillip movie. Kyle: Dude! Cartman: What? Fuck you guys. I wanna get out of here.
6
Cartman: Yes, that's right, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Now who wants to touch me? [pause] Cartman: [yells] I said, who wants to fuckin' touch me?
7
Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? General: I don't listen to hip-hop.
8
General: Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands! [all the African American members put up their hands including Chef] General: You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call "Operation Human Shield". Chef: Hey, wait a minute... General: Now keep in mind, 'Operation Human Shield' will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14? [all the White soldiers raise their hands] General: Right, you are 'Operation Get Behind The Darkies'. You will follow Battalion 5 here and try not to get killed for God's Sake. Are there any questions men? [Chef raises his hand] General: Yes Soldier? Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? General: I don't listen to hip-hop! Chef: Hey!
9
Satan: Saddam, I need to talk to you Saddam Hussein: Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time. Satan: [sighs] sometimes you can love someone very much, but still know they aren't right for you. Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* are you talking about? Satan: You treat me like shit, Saddam! I'm leaving you! Saddam Hussein: What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth! Satan: You don't even have any respect for me. Saddam Hussein: Sure I do, guy, please, just hear me out
10
Stan: Be careful, dude. The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb? [starts digging a hole] Stan: Dude that kid is fucked up!
11
Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman. Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
12
Dr. Doctor: We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.
13
Stan: But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada.
14
Stan: Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris. Kyle: Hmm OK Found: 8,000,000 pages found with the word clitoris.
15
[his last words] Kenny: Mmf mm mpf mm mommmppf mmf momm mmom mf mff. Mff mffs mmmph mmf, mmph? Mmmpf mpph.
16
[singing] Chef: So finally, what a happy end / Americans and Canadians are friends again.
17
[singing] Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? I bet he'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do! Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold. Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair. Stan Marsh, Kyle Broslofski: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? I'm sure he'd kick as ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do! Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me! It has stunted my vocabulary! Kyle: And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone. Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! Eric Cartman, Kyle Broslofski, Stan Marsh: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
18
Mr. Garrison: I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.
19
Canadian Representative: Our government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions!
20
[after student provides incorrect answer to math problem] Mr. Garrison: All right, now let's trying to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard?
21
Canadian Ambassador: Can I finish? Please, can I finish? [pause] Canadian Ambassador: OK I'm finished.
22
Sheila Broflovski: Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty woids! That's what this war is all about!
23
Saddam Hussein: [torturing Kenny] Yeah Yeah, men, this is getting me so hot. Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy
24
Cartman: Kyle, all those times I called you a stupid Jew, I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. Kyle: Yes I am, Cartman! I *am* a Jew! Cartman: No, no, don't be so hard on yourself.
25
Gregory: I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average. Cartman: You're a fucking faggot, dude.
26
Satan: [singing] Up there, there is so much room / Where baby's burp and flowers bloom / Everyone dreams I can dream too / Up there / Up where the skies are ocean blue / I could be safe and live without a care / Up there
27
[Just finished watching Terrence and Phillip's motion picture] Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet! Cartman: You bet your fuckin' ass it was! Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip!
28
Satan: [singing] What if you remain a sandy little butthole? Saddam Hussein: [singing] Hey, Satan, don't be such a twit / Mother Teresa won't have shit on me.
29
Jimbo Kearn: Oh boy, military action, Ned, we're gonna kill us some goddam Australians! Ned Gerblanski: I think we're fighting Canadians. Jimbo Kearn: Canadians, Australians, what's the difference?
30
Stan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest. Homeless man: Six tickets please!
31
Kyle: You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!
32
Ticket Taker: Hey wait a minute, where is your guardian? Cartman: What? Ticket Taker: I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in. Didn't you? Cartman: Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit eater. [farts towards him]
33
Cartman: Hey dudes! Kyle: What's the matter Cartman? Cartman: It's this V-Chip, I hate it! I can't say any dirty words Kyle: Really? So you can't say Fuck? Cartman: No! Kyle: And you can't say Shit? Cartman: No! Kyle: So you can't say I'm Eric Cartman the Fattest fucking piece of Shit in the world? Cartman: FUCK YOU! [gets shocked by the V-chip] Cartman: AHHH! Kyle: Ewwww... Sweet!
34
Sheila Broslofski: Gentlemen, do you have any last words? Phillip: Last words? How's aboot: "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" How's that for last words?
35
Chef: [singing] Everything worked out/What a happy end/Canadians and Americans are friends again.
36
Satan: The day is mine!
37
Mr. Mackey: [singing] Step 4, don't say fuck anymore, 'cause fuck is the worst word that you can say. Children: Fuck is the worst word that you can say. We shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck no!
38
Gregory: I'm here for "la resistance." Kyle: What's the password? Gregory: I don't know. Kyle: Guess. Gregory: Uhhh... bacon. Kyle: ...okay.
39
Cartman: [singing] Well, Kyle's mom is a big, fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. / On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wedensday and Saturday she's a bitch. Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super king kamehameha bee-utch. / Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big big big big big bitch. / Bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a stupid bitch./Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this! [sings in mock foreign languages]
40
Newscaster: Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.
41
The Mole: Now, did you bring the mirror? Stan: Check! The Mole: Did you bring the rope? Stan: Check! The Mole: Did you bring the buttfor? Stan: What's a buttfor? The Mole: For pooping, silly.
42
[American representative stands up and clears his throat] [pause] American Representative: Fuck Canada! Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!
43
Terrence: Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.
44
Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay? Kyle: Nowhere Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before. Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker".
45
Chorus: [singing] Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker. You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucker. Terrence: You're an uncle fucker, I must say. Phillip: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday. Terrance, Phillip: Uncle Fucker. That's U-N-C-L-E FUCK YOU! UNCLE FUCKAAAAHH... Phillip: Suck my balls.
46
Terrence: You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn/ You just fuck your Uncle all day long!
47
[Kenny is falling into Hell, where he encounters the damned] George Burns: Hey, fuckface. Have you seen Gracie?
48
[all hyped and ready after singing a song] Stan: Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please? [pause] Ticket Taker: No! Stan: What do you mean no? Ticket Taker: Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America, you have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian. Stan: But why? Ticket Taker: Because this movie has naughty language! Next please.
49
Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris? Kyle: The what? Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
50
Cartman: Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?
Mooviees.com is not the official site for this film.
All editorial views and opinions expressed here are for entertainment purposes only.
Movie Database
In Theaters
