"When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself."--a quote by Jacques-Yves Cousteau that is written in DIVING FOR SUNKEN TREASURE, a book read by Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman)
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"What's the secret, Max?"--Herman Blume (Bill Murray)
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"Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out."--Mr. Blume
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"The secret?"--Max
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"The secret...I don't know. I think you just gotta find something you love to do and then do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore."--Max
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"We both have dead people in our families."--Max to Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams)
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"Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?"--Miss Cross
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"It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah."--Max
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"I like your nurse's uniform, guy."--Max to Dr. Flynn (Luke Wilson)
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"These are O.R. scrubs."--Dr. Flynn
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"Oh, are they?"--Max
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"I know about you and the teacher."--Dirk Calloway (Mason Gamble) to Mr. Blume
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"I saved Latin. What did you ever do?"--Max to Mr. Blume
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"Rushmore was my life. Now you are!"--Max to Miss Cross
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"She's my Rushmore, Max."--Mr. Blume to Max
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"Yeah, I know. She was mine too."--Max
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"Although I will say that Edward has more spark and character and imagination in one fingernail than Herman Blume has in his entire body."--Miss Cross
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"One dead fingernail."--Max
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"Sic Transit Gloria" (Glory fades).--Max to Miss Cross, also in Max's play, HEAVEN AND HELL
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Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me? Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah.
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Rosemary Cross: Do you think we're going to have sex? Max Fischer: That's a kinda cheap way to put it. Rosemary Cross: Not if you've ever fucked before, it isn't.
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Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
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Max Fischer: I'm applying to Oxford and the Sorbonne. Harvard's my safety.
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Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy. Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs. Max Fischer: Oh, are they?
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Max Fischer: Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.
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Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max? Max Fischer: The secret? Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out. Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.
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Max Fischer: What do you call getting a handjob from Mrs. Calloway in the back of her Jaguar? Magnus Buchan: A fucking lie. Max Fischer: You think I got kicked out because of just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you know what else? It was worth it.
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Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam? Herman Blume: Yeah. Max Fischer: Were you in the shit? Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.
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Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future. Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship. Max Fischer: But we're friends. Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're *going* to be. Well, yes... Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?
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Dirk Calloway: Oh yeah and with friends like you who needs friends?
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Dirk Calloway: There's action across the street. [static] Dirk Calloway: It's Snowman! Take him!
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Herman Blume: Mmm, I'm a little bit lonely these days
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Herman Blume: She's my Rushmore. Max Fischer: I know. She was mine too.
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Max Fischer: I saved Latin. What did you ever do?
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Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man! Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this. Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?
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Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross? Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together. Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.
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Ernie: What kind of fish? Max Fischer: Barracuda, stingrays, electric eels, trout, hammerheads, piranha, giant squid, octopi... Herman Blume: Piranhas? Really? Max Fischer: Yes, I'm talking to a guy in South America.
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Max Fischer: How much are you worth, by the way? Herman Blume: I don't know. Max Fischer: Over ten million? Herman Blume: Yeah, I guess so. Max Fischer: Good, good. Herman Blume: Why? Max Fischer: Cause we're gonna need all of it.
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[Introducing his play "Heaven and Hell"] Max Fischer: Also, you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs under your seats. Please feel free to use them.
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Magnus Buchan: I always wanted to be in one of your fuckin' plays.
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[Max has just petitioned to make Latin a required subject] Magnus Buchan: [heavy Scottish brogue] Why dincha just piss off, Fischer? Ya dotty wee skid mark! Max Fischer: Is that Latin?
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Architect: Mr. Blume, how are Ronny and Donny enjoying military school? Herman Blume: They love it. Magnus Buchan: Lucky bastards.
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Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon. Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.
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Herman Blume: Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.
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Herman Blume: Indefinitely. I'm being sued for divorce. Concierge: Very good sir.
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Max Fischer: [to Dr. Peter] I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?
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Max Fischer: [to Rosemary] We both have dead people in our families.
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Dirk Calloway: [to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.
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Herman Blume: Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.
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Max Fischer: [to Herman] She's in love with a dead guy anyway.
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