Quotes from The Last of the Blonde Bombshells (2000)
1
[Betty the Bandleader has just reminded the band that there's to be no drinking on stage to which the alcoholic Dinah replies:] Dinah: Sorry, babe, this is not negotiable. Drunk I can't play a note, sober I can't play a note but there's a part in the middle where I play like a goddamn angel.
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2
[Elizabeth's children have found out that she's busking on the streets] Edward: Doesn't it strike you that what you're doing is a bit... well... degrading? Elizabeth: Well you try it. Last week we had a request from a tourist for the Japanese national anthem. That's unique that is. So we gave him 'One fine day' from Madame Butterfly and a joke about Pearl Harbor.
3
Elizabeth: You live here? Patrick: Yes, it's what they call a "grace and favour" residence. My father had the grace to die and did me the favour of leaving it to me.
4
Patrick: What are you collecting for? Annie: [who is a member of the Salvation Army] The poor, the sick and the dispossessed. You don't qualify.
5
[Elizabeth's granddaughter, Joanna, is listening to an early rehearsal of the reunited Blonde Bombshells] Joanna: I can see why the Germans bombed you.
6
Elizabeth: I hate those stories that begin with a funeral, but I'm afraid this one begins the day we buried George. Not that we buried him. In the interests of the environment we had him incinerated.
7
Elizabeth: What do you know about the war? The 1939-45 one? Joanna: We beat Germany one nil?
8
Evelyn: Any news on Gwen? Dinah: If she doesn't show, we'll kill her. You'll see to it, right babe? Betty: There's a fellow comes in the bar, he's in that line of work.
9
Elizabeth: Oh shut your face. Go to Scotland and come back with a trumpet player.
10
[Patrick enters the pub carrying a huge bunch of flowers] Elizabeth: Here's my lift. Patricia: Mum! Who's he? Elizabeth: My fancy man.
11
[At the crematorium, according to the late George's wishes the song 'Magic Moments' is played] Patricia: Are you alright? Elizabeth: As well as can be expected. Patricia: If you want to cry, go ahead. Elizabeth: I just hate this fucking tune.
12
Dinah: I married well, and frequently.
13
Elizabeth: Our sole purpose is to get the band back together. Gwen: You got a gig? Patrick: Posters go up next month. Gwen: What is it? Elizabeth: Well, it's my granddaughter's school dance. Gwen: A school dance? I never played school dances even when I was at school.
14
Gwen: I have sung for my supper for half a lifetime, and I've done it all without rehearsal.
15
Joanna: So you were the only man in the band? Patrick: Just me and all those chicks. Elizabeth: Oh do you mind? I'm not and never have been a chick. Joanna: How did you get the job? Patrick: Well, they couldn't find a girl who played the drums. I had a quiet word with Betty the Bandleader, two pairs of nylon stockings and the job was mine. Elizabeth: Also he was on the run. Patrick: Also I was on the run.
16
Patrick: How did you get here? Elizabeth: Overnight sleeper. Central heating and a roof. Patrick: Does that mean I'm forgiven? Elizabeth: Absolutely not. But we need a trumpet player and I couldn't trust you to deliver one. I wouldn't trust you to deliver a bottle of milk.
17
Elizabeth: Joanna, I need your advice. Joanna: I'll try... Elizabeth: What's the best way to show respect for the dead? Joanna: That's easy... you go on living.
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