"It's not a lie. It's a gift for fiction"--Walt Price (William H. Macy)
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"Everybody makes their own fun. If you don't make it yourself, it's entertainment."--Ann Black (Rebecca Pidgeon) to Joseph Turner White (Philip Seymour Hoffman)
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Walt Price: It's not a lie. It's a gift for fiction.
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Joseph Turner White: How do I do a film called "The Old Mill" when I don't have an old mill? Ann Black: Well, first you've got to change the title.
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Walt Price: Who designed these costumes? It looks like Edith Head puked, and that puke designed these costumes.
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Ann Black: Everybody makes their own fun. If you don't make it yourself, it isn't fun. It's entertainment.
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Marty Rossen: I'm going to rip your heart out, then I'm going to piss on your lungs through the hole in your chest!
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Doc Wilson: It's the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?
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Joseph Turner White: What's an associate producer credit? Bill Smith: It's what you give to your secretary instead of a raise.
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[Why he lusts for 14 year old girls] Bob Barrenger: Everybody needs a hobby.
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Joseph Turner White: You like kids? Ann Black: Never saw the point of 'em. Joseph Turner White: Me neither.
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Joseph Turner White: You believe that? Ann Black: I do if you do. Joseph Turner White: But it's absurd. Ann Black: So is our electoral process. But we still vote.
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Bob Barrenger: I know my lines. Walt Price: You do? Bob Barrenger: I just don't know what order they come in.
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Walt Price: This is what my people died for... the right to make a movie in this town.
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Walt Price: What does he like? Bill Smith: 14-year-old girls. Walt Price: Well, get him something else. We want to get out of this town alive. Get him half a 28-year-old girl. How's my math?
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Ann Black: "If you were never down, how would you know when you were up?" Joe White: You have a gift for words. Ann Black: It's in your play.
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Marty Rossen: Get him some... Maple syrup. Walt Price: Maple syrup. Grows on trees. Marty Rossen: Actually, it's an extract of the tree.
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Claire Wellesley: I'm not a child! I have feelings!
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Walt Price: And we're going to sue you for a billion dollars. Joe White: What cause? Walt Price: I don't need a cause, I just need a lawyer!
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[after emerging from an upside-down station wagon he has just crashed] Bob Barrenger: So, that happened.
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Marty Rossen: And how are you getting along with these fine people? Walt Price: Like dykes and dogs!
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[Marty eats a piece of bread] Marty Rossen: Mm, this is good. Have you tried it? Walt Price: Oh, like I'm really going to eat carbohydrates.
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Joseph Turner White: Ever wonder why the Dalmatian's the symbol of the firehouse? Ann Black: First organized fire department was on the border of Dalmatia and Sardinia in the year 642. Joseph Turner White: That's why the Dalmatian? Ann Black: It was either that, or a sardine.
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Bunky: Well, it takes all kinds. Spud: That's what it takes? I always wondered what it took.
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Marty Rossen: If your memory was as long as your dick, you'd be in good shape.
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Walt Price: What does that woman WANT from life? Marty Rossen: She wants $800,000 to show her tits.
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Tommy Max: My wife is going to have a baby. Walt Price: Oh, good, let's bring more people into this overcrowded world.
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Ann Black: You know what you got there? You got a fishhook in your finger. I'm right proud of you.
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Walt Price: Hey, did you see the grosses for Gandhi 2?
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[last lines] Bob Barrenger: Beats workin'.
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Walt Price: How are we coming with the dead horse scene? Marty Rossen: You can't actually kill the horse. Walt Price: Aw, fuck me!
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Production Assistant: Your wife's on the phone. Walt Price: I have no wife!
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Walt Price: Marty, we got a new town. It's uh... Where are we? Bill Smith: Waterford, Vermont. Walt Price: Waterford, Vermont. Where is it? THAT'S where it is.
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Tommy Max: I'm very sorry, I... Walt Price: You're very sorry, you passive-aggressive, son-of-a-bitch... Can we replace him? Bill Smith: We start shooting in three days.
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Walt Price: What's in the bag? Marty Rossen: My undies, cause, you can't get this film off on time I'm gonna wet myself.
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Tommy Max: My wife is having a baby... [Walt stares at him irritated] Walt Price: Thank you for keeping me current.
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Postman: Doc, those pills you gave me; I'm not sure that they work. Doc Wilson: Well I'm not sure either, but you don't hear me complain.
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Walt Price: Would you like a cigar? Mayor George Bailey: Aren't these illegal? Walt Price: Why would they be illegal? Mayor George Bailey: Well, the trade embargo with Cuba. Walt Price: Nobody tells me anything.
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Decorator: Do you want to see the firemen's costumes? Because i found this mole skin for the color... Production Assistant: Marty Rossen has touched down Walt Price: Okay. Decorator: It's not black but it looks black. it's not brown... Walt Price: Yep, it's faggy without being homosexual.
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Doug Mackenzie: You have a date, they call, you're doing business nine at o'clock at night. Ann Black: I wasn't doing business. Doug Mackenzie: Oh, well what were you doing then that was so important that you shouldn't call your fianc... Ann Black: I... have to tell you that it is all over between us, Doug. I met somebody else, and it's very serious, and it's over. Doug Mackenzie: Wait, so serious you couldn't call me and tell you'd be... what?
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Bill Smith: It's Marty, he's on the coast. Walt Price: On the coast? Of course he's on the coast, where would he be, The Hague?
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