"I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job."--Capt. Dudley Smith (James Cromwell) to Bud White (Russell Crowe)
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"Yeah."--Bud White
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"Do you enjoy it?"--Lynn Bracken
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"When they deserve it."--Bud White
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"There's blood on your shirt. Is that an integral part of your job?"--Lynn Bracken (Kim Basinger) to Bud White
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"Did they deserve it today?"--Lynn Bracken
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"I'm not sure."--Bud White
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"Off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush."--Sid Hudgens (Danny De Vito)
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Captain Dudley Smith: I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job.
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Jack Vincennes: Oh, lookee here, the great jerk off case of 1953.
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Captain Dudley Smith: I wouldn't trade places with Edmund Exley right now for all the whisky in Ireland.
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Captain Dudley Smith: Wendell, I'd like full and docile co-operation on every topic.
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Dick Stensland: We'll do the town one night on me. Bud White: I'll bring my wallet just in case.
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Brett Chase: Excuse me, ma'am. Just the facts.
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Captain Dudley Smith: You'll do as I say, and ask no questions. Do you follow my drift? Bud White: In technicolor, sir.
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Dick Stensland: I got a hot date. Bud White: Yeah? Who is she and what did you arrest her for?
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Ed Exley: I'm talking about the gas chamber, and you haven't even asked me what this is about. You've got a big "Guilty" sign around your neck.
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Jack Vincennes: Oh, great. You get the girl, I get the coroner.
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Jack Vincennes: Why don't you and I go someplace quiet cause I'd love to give you the low-down on Mitchum.
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Ed Exley: Do you make the three Negroes for the Night Owl Killings? Jack Vincennes: What? Ed Exley: It's a simple question. Jack Vincennes: Why in the world do you wanna go digging any deeper into the Nite Owl killings, Lieutenant? Ed Exley: Rollo Tomasi. Jack Vincennes: Is there more to that or am I supposed to guess? Ed Exley: Rolo was a purse snatcher. My father ran into him off duty, and he shot my father six times and got away clean. No one even knew who he was. I just made the name up to give him some personality. Jack Vincennes: What's your point? Ed Exley: Rolo Tomasi is the reason I became a cop. I wanted to catch the guys who thought they could get away with it. It's supposed to be about justice. Then somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. Why'd you become a cop? Jack Vincennes: I don't remember. Jack Vincennes: [after a brief hesitation] What do you want, Exley? Ed Exley: I just wanna solve this thing. Jack Vincennes: The Night Owl was solved. Ed Exley: No, I wanna do it right. Jack Vincennes: Even if it means paying the consequences? Ed Exley: [Exley nods his head] Jack Vincennes: [stands up from his chair] All right, college boy, I'll help. But there's a case you boys in Homicide don't care about. You think it's just another Hollywood "homo"-cide. Well, I don't. You help me with mine, I'll help you with your's. Deal? Ed Exley: Deal
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Jack Vincennes: I'm the technical advisor. I teach Brett Chase how to walk and talk like a cop. Jack's Dancing Partner: Brett Chase doesn't walk and talk like you. Jack Vincennes: Well, that's 'cause he's the television version. America isn't ready for the real me.
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Pierce Patchett: I use girls that look like movie stars. Sometimes I employ a plastic surgeon. When the work had been done, that's when you saw us. Bud White: That's why her mother couldn't I.D. her. Jesus fucking Christ. Pierce Patchett: No, Mr. White. Pierce Morehouse Patchett.
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Johnny Stompanato: You want an autograph? Write to MGM. Ed Exley: Since when do two-bit hoods and hookers give out autographs? Johnny Stompanato: What'd you say to me? Ed Exley: LAPD. Sit down. Lana Turner: Who in the hell do you think you are? Jack Vincennes: Ed... Ed Exley: Take a walk, honey, before I haul your ass downtown. Johnny Stompanato: You are making a large mistake. Lana Turner: Get away from our table. Ed Exley: Shut up! A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker. Johnny Stompanato: Hey! Ed Exley: She just looks like Lana Turner. Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner. Ed Exley: What? Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
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Bud White: Well, Captain, what do you want? Captain Dudley Smith: Call me Dudley. Bud White: Dudley... what do you want?
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Ed Exley: I heard you like to shoot dogs. Ray Collins: Dogs got no reason to live.
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[Dick Stensland arrives with liquor for a party] Officer: What took you, Stensland? Dick Stensland: My partner stopped to help a damsel in distress. He's got his priorities all screwed up.
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Bud White: I'd like to see you again. Lynn Bracken: Are you asking me for a date or an appointment? Bud White: I don't know. Lynn Bracken: Well if you're asking me for a date I should know your first name. Bud White: Forget I asked. It was a mistake.
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Bud White: Merry Christmas. Lynn Bracken: Merry Christmas to you, officer. Bud White: That obvious, huh? Lynn Bracken: It's practically stamped on your forehead.
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Ed Exley: All I ever wanted was to measure up to my father. Bud White: Now's your chance. He died in the line of duty, didn't he?
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Sid Hudgens: Off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.
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[first lines] Sid Hudgens: [voiceover] Come to Los Angeles! The sun shines bright, the beaches are wide and inviting, and the orange groves stretch as far as the eye can see. There are jobs aplenty, and land is cheap. Every working man can have his own house, and inside every house, a happy, all-American family. You can have all this, and who knows... you could even be discovered, become a movie star... or at least see one. Life is good in Los Angeles... it's paradise on Earth." Ha ha ha ha. That's what they tell you, anyway.
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Lynn Bracken: You're the first man in five years who didn't tell me I look like Veronica Lake inside of a minute. Bud White: You look better than Veronica Lake.
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Lynn Bracken: I see Bud because I want to. I see Bud because he can't hide the good inside of him. I see Bud because he treats me like Lynn Bracken and not some Veronica Lake look-alike who fucks for money.
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Dudley Smith: Go back to Jersey, Sonny. This is the City of the Angels and you haven't got any wings.
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Captain Dudley Smith: Don't start tryin' to do the right thing, boy-o. You haven't the practice.
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Captain Dudley Smith: I doubt you've ever taken a stupid breath. Don't start now.
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Captain Dudley Smith: Our justice must be swift and merciless.
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Bud White: The Night Owl case made you. Do you want to tear all that down? Ed Exley: With a wrecking ball. You want to help me swing it?
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[White approaches Loew in the bathroom, after he refused to answer Exley's questions] Ellis Loew: Unless you came in here to wipe my ass, I believe we're through. [White looks at him, silently] Ellis Loew: Come on, don't try this "Good Cop-Bad Cop" crap on me. I practically invented it. So what if some homo actor is dead? Boys, girls, ten of them step off the bus to L.A. every day. [White proceeds to smash Loew's head into the mirror and then sticking it into the toilet] Ellis Loew: Pull him off me, Exley! Ed Exley: I don't know how. Bud White: Now, I know you think you're the A-number one hotshot. Well, here's the juice: if I take you out, there'll be ten more lawyers to take your place tomorrow. They just won't come on the bus, that's all! [White drags Loew into his office and dangles him out of the window by his legs until he confesses] Ed Exley: Was that how you used to run the "Good Cop-Bad Cop?"
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[Bud grabs Johnny Stompanato by the testicles to get him to talk] Bud White: What do I get if I give you your balls back, you wop cocksucker?
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[Exley has to perform the interrogation] Jack Vincennes: Are you sure Golden Boy is up to the task, Cap? Capt. Dudley Smith: Oh, I think you'd be surprised what the lad is capable of.
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[One of Lynn's clients refuses to leave. Bud White flashes his badge] Bud White: LAPD, shitbird. Get the fuck outta here or I'll call your wife to come get you!
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Sid Hudgens: "It's Christmas Eve in the City of Angels and while decent citizens sleep the sleep of the righteous, hopheads prowl for marijuana not knowing that a man is coming to stop them! Celebrity crimestopper Jack Vincennes, scourge of grasshoppers and dopefieds everywhere!" Ya like it, Jackie-Boy? Jack Vincennes: Yeah. Subtle.
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Dudley Smith: Hold up your badge, so they'll know you're a policeman.
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Jack Vincennes: Karen, this is Sid Hudgens of Hush-Hush Magazine. Sid Hudgens: Hellooooo, Karen! Jack's Dancing Partner: Hello yourself! [walks off angrily] Jack Vincennes: What's that about? Sid Hudgens: Eh, we ran a piece last year, "Ingenue Dykes in Hollywood." Her name got mentioned.
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Captain Dudley Smith: Have you a valediction, boy-o? Jack Vincennes: Rollo Tomasi.
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[after a furious Bud White has been restrained from attacking Exley] Captain Dudley Smith: It's best to stay away from a man when his blood is up. Ed Exley: His blood is always up. Captain Dudley Smith: Then perhaps you should stay away from him altogether.
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[to Ray Collins] Ed Exley: They called you 'Sugar', 'cause you liked to give it out... so sweet.
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Dudley Smith: Edmund, you're a political animal. You have the eye for human weakness, but not the stomach. Ed Exley: You're wrong, sir. Captain Dudley Smith: Would you be willing to plant corroborative evidence on a suspect you knew to be guilty, in order to ensure an indictment? Ed Exley: Dudley, we've been over this. Captain Dudley Smith: Yes or no, Edmund? Ed Exley: No! Captain Dudley Smith: Would you be willing to beat a confession out of a suspect you knew to be guilty? Ed Exley: No. Captain Dudley Smith: Would you be willing to shoot a hardened criminal in the back, in order to offset the chance that some... lawyer... Ed Exley: No. Captain Dudley Smith: Then, for the love of God, don't be a detective. Stick to assignments where you don't have... Ed Exley: Dudley, I know you mean well, but I don't need to do it the way you did. Or my father.
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Sid Hudgens: Get me some narco skinny. I want to do an all-hophead issue. You know, schwartze jazz musicians and movie stars. You like it?
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