[Alice has just split her pants open at the rear while on a secret spy mission] Alice: I need assistance. I'm... exposed.
(81 votes)
2
Alex: Excuse me for being a good citizen.
(61 votes)
3
Stan: Hey, Alex, could you pass me the false alarms? I mean, the peas.
(55 votes)
4
Earl Unger: I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan. Burton Jernigan: Never let your emotions get the best of you. You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant. Earl Unger: You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.
(55 votes)
5
Mrs. Hess: I had the chicken pox when Herbert Hoover was in the White House.
(52 votes)
6
Peter Beaupre: There are 14 houses. The toy car must be in one of them. We're going have to search them all. We'll come back when it's light. Earl Unger: We're gonna work houses in broad daylight? Peter Beaupre: It's the suberbs, Mr. Unger. Nobody's home during the day.
(2 votes)
7
Karen Pruitt: You get in that bed, young man. Alex: Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephen's bedroom, a little older than Dad, and he was wearing butt inspection gloves. Karen Pruitt: I have warned you about that telescope. You look through it long enough, you're gonna start seeing things, whether or not they're there. Alex: Well, I guess you have to be 35 before anyone around here listens to you. Karen Pruitt: Don't get smart with me, Alex. Sick or not, I am very angry with you. You caused a lot of trouble today. Dad and I have to replace a door at the Stephens'. Do you think we're happy about that?
(2 votes)
8
Peter Beaupre: We are going to Chicago. Earl Unger: In the winter? I packed tropical.
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