Marty: Debi's house. Paul: Kinda crept up on you, didn't it? Marty: No, you drove us here. Paul: [pause] Yep.
(36 votes)
2
Marty: This your Beamer? Paul: Yeah. Marty: In Detroit? That's sacrilege!
(40 votes)
3
Mr. Grocer: After we do your job, we're gonna do another job. Marty: Tell me about it. Mr. Grocer: Like I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your fuckin' forehead, and I'm gonna fuck the brain hole!
(38 votes)
4
[Talking to his psychiatrist about going to his high school reunion] Marty: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"
(35 votes)
5
Marcella: You know, when you started getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up. Martin Q. Blank: Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death? Marcella: Well, I never really thought about it quite like that. Martin Q. Blank: Did you go to yours? Marcella: Yes, I did. It was just as if everyone had swelled.
(35 votes)
6
Debi: Some people say forgive and forget. Nah, I don't know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept. And... get the hell out of town.
7
[repeated line] Marty: If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.
8
[to her son] Mary Blank: You're a handsome devil. What's your name?
9
[to Debi's father, while fleeing from Grocer] Marty: I was hired to kill you. But I'm not going to. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or I have a newfound respect for life. [In pursuing car] Mr. Grocer: That punk's either in love with that guy's daughter or he's got a newfound respect for life.
10
Martin Q. Blank: You must've done some *naughty* shit there, Bart. [flips dossier over to him] Martin Q. Blank: There's a contract out on your life. Believe me. I was hired to kill you, but I'm not going to do it. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or because I have a newfound respect for life. Mr. Grocer: [following in van] That punk is either in love with that guy's daughter or he has a newfound respect for life. Mr. Newberry: [after reading contract/dossier] My whole life! Martin Q. Blank: Hopefully not.
11
Martin Q. Blank: Oh, the reason I called... Could you find out who else is in town? I've made two spooks and a goon already, so if they've double-booked the job, and/or they're going to kill me, I'd like to know. If you could find that out, that'd be great.
12
[Martin gives Debi a bouquet of flowers] Debi: I'll go put these in some rubbing alcohol.
13
McCullers: You got any ideas how you wanna wax this guy? Steve: Can't you just say 'kill'? Ya always gotta romanticize it.
14
Dr. Oatman: Martin, I'm emotionally involved with you. Marty: How are you emotionally involved with me? Dr. Oatman: I'm afraid of you. Marty: You're afraid of me. Dr. Oatman: And that constitutes an emotional involvement, and it would be unethical for me to work with you under those circumstances.
15
Marty: You don't know my cat. It's very demanding. Debi: "It"? You don't know if it's a boy or a girl? Marty: I respect its privacy.
16
Debi: So, is there a Mrs. Mysterio? Martin Q. Blank: No, but I do have a very nice cat? Debi: Not the same. Martin Q. Blank: Well, you don't know my cat, it's very demanding. Debi: It? You don't know if it's a boy or girl? Martin Q. Blank: I respect its privacy.
17
Paul: I've got to get something off my chest. Have you been home to see the old house? Martin Q. Blank: Yeah. Torn down in the name of convenience. Paul: Yeah, I brokered the deal Martin Q. Blank: Oh, wow. Wow. Paul: I tried to get a family there, but Ultimart made the best offer. Martin Q. Blank: Well, thank you for profiting on my childhood.
18
Marty: Why are you so interested in me going to my high school reunion? Marcella: I just find it amusing that you came from somewhere.
19
Mr. Newberry: What have you been doing with your life? Marty: Uh... professional killer. Mr. Newberry: Oh! Good for you, it's a... growth industry.
20
Debi: You know what you need? Marty: What? Debi: Shakabuku. Marty: You wanna tell me what that means? Debi: It's a swift, spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever. Marty: Oh, that'd be good. I think.
21
Martin Q. Blank: [Leaving a message on Dr. Oatman's machine] Dr. Oatman, please pick up, pick up! It's Martin Blank! I, I'm standing where my, uh, living room was and it's not here because my house is gone and it's an Ultimart! You can never go home again, Oatman... but I guess you can shop there.
22
[after his secretary pissed him off] Marty: Marcella... you know what I do for a living.
23
Martin Q. Blank: Don't you think that maybe you're just upset because I told you what I do for a living, and you got upset and *you're* letting it interfere with *our* dynamic? Dr. Oatman: Whoa. Martin. You didn't tell me what you did for a living... Martin Q. Blank: Yes, I did! Dr. Oatman: You didn't tell me what you did for a living for *four* sessions. *Then* you told me. And I said, "I don't want to work with you any more." And yet, you come back each week at the same time. That's a difficulty for me. On top of that, if you've committed a crime or you're thinking about committing a crime, I have to tell the authorities. Martin Q. Blank: I know the law, okay? But I don't want to be withholding; I'm very serious about this process. [pause] Martin Q. Blank: And I know where you live. Dr. Oatman: Oh, now see? That wasn't a nice thing to say; that wasn't designed to make me feel good. That's a... kind of a... not too subtle intimidation, and I, uh, get filled with anxiety when you talk about something like that. Martin Q. Blank: Come on, come on. I was just kidding, all right? The thought never crossed my mind. Dr. Oatman: You did think of it, Martin! You thought it, and then you said it. And now, I'm left with the aftermath of that, thinking I gotta be creative in a really interesting way or Martin's gonna blow my brains out! You're holding me hostage. That's not right.
24
Martin Q. Blank: Do you *really* believe that there's some stored up conflict that exists between us? There *is* no us. *We* don't exist. So who do you wanna hit, man? It's not me. Now whaddya wanna do here, man? Bob: [Pulls out a folded up piece of paper] Martin Q. Blank: I don't know what that is. Bob: These are my words. Martin Q. Blank: It's a poem? See, that's the problem... express yourself, Bob! Go for it. Bob: "When I feel... quiet... when... I feel... blue..." Martin Q. Blank: You know, I think that is *terrific*, what you have right there. Really, I liked it, a lot. I wouldn't sell the dealership or anything but, I'm tellin' ya... it's intense! Bob: There's... more. Martin Q. Blank: Okay, would ya mind, just skip to the end. Bob: To... the very end? "For a while." Martin Q. Blank: Whew. That's good man. Bob: "For a while." Martin Q. Blank: That's excellent! Bob: You wanna do some blow? Martin Q. Blank: No I don't. Bob: [Hugs Martin]
25
Bob: Real smart. C'mon. Let's see how smart you are with my foot up your ass!
26
[Repeated line] Marty: It's not me.
27
Victim: Whatever I'm doing you don't like... I'll stop doing it. Marty: It's not me.
28
Debi: You're a psychopath. Marty: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right.
29
Mr. Grocer: Workers of the world, unite!
30
Mr. Grocer: [singing] I'll be comin' around the mountain when I come / I'll be comin' around the mountain when I come / I'll be blowin' your fuckin' head off / I'll be blowin' your fuckin' head off / I'll be whackin' your fuckin' mind out when I come.
Marty: I'm a professional killer. Paul: Do you have to do postgraduate work for that?
33
Amy: Where ya been these last ten years? Debi: Yeah, where ya been, "Marv"? Amy: Ya look great! Martin Q. Blank: Thanks. I work at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Amy: Ya do not! Martin Q. Blank: I do! I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southland. Amy: You're so funny. Debi: He's a funny guy.
34
Amy: What do you do? Marty: I work at Kentucky Fried Chicken. I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southlands.
35
Waitress: What do you want in your omelette, sir? Marty: Nothing in the omelette, nothing at all. Waitress: Well, that's not technically an omelette. Marty: Look, I don't want to get into a semantic argument, I just want the protein.
36
Dr. Oatman: Don't kill anybody for a few days. See what it feels like. Martin Q. Blank: Alright, I'll give it a shot. Dr. Oatman: No, don't give it a shot! Don't shoot anything!
37
Debi: Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?
38
Mr. Newberry: Did I have you figured wrong? Marty: I don't know - I mean I hope so. Mr. Newberry: I visualised you in a haze as one of those slackster, flannel-wearing, coffee-house misanthropes I've been seeing in Newsweek. Marty: No no no, I went the other road. Six figures, doing business with leadpipe cruelty, mercenery sensibility. You know... sports, sex, no real relationships. How about you - how have the years been treating you? Mr. Newberry: Well you know me Martin - still the same old sell-out, exploiting the oppressed... Marty: Sure. Mr. Newberry: Ah what a piece of work is man, how noble... oh fuck it, let's have a drink and forget the whole damn thing.
39
Mr. Grocer: This is Durazac 15, kid. It makes Prozac seem like de-caf latte. Marty: I don't do that stuff anymore. Mr. Grocer: Don't say "do it," because I don't "do it," I *ingest* it, on orders of my neurophysiologist. This stuff is legal. In five years they'll be putting it in the water for citizens, just like fluoride.
40
Kevin McCullers: Man, why don't we just do his job, so we can do our job and get the fuck out of here? Steve: What do you mean, "do his job?" What am I, a cold-blooded killer? I'm not a cold-blooded killer. Kevin McCullers: Now, wait a minute... Steve: No, you wait a minute. You want to kill the good guy but not be the bad guy. Doesn't work like that. You have to wait until the bad guy kills the good guy, then when you kill the bad guy, you're the good guy. Kevin McCullers: So - just to clarify - if we do his job we're the bad guys, and if we do our job we're the good guys. Steve: Yes. Kevin McCullers: That's... great.
41
Marty: Oatman? Don't hang up. Listen, I didn't kill anyone - except some guy tried to kill me, so if I see that guy again, I'm definitely gonna kill him, but I'm not going to kill anybody else. I'm on my way to the reunion now with Debi, but I'm just a little nervous, and I'd like to do a phoner. Dr. Oatman: O.K., repeat after me. "I am at home with the me. I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure." Marty: I am at home with the me, I am rooted in the me who is on this adventure. Dr. Oatman: Good. Now take a deep breath, and realize that this is me breathing. Marty: Wait, I'm confused. Do you want me to say it or do you want me to realize it? Dr. Oatman: What? Marty: About the breathing. Dr. Oatman: Say it. Marty: This is me breathing. Dr. Oatman: Good, now keep doing that for about twenty minutes. Marty: Listen, I got to go. Dr. Oatman: O.K. Keep it up. Don't kill anybody. Marty: Right! [Hangs up]
42
Marcella: Sir, I'm really beginning to worry about your safety. Marty: Look, I got to go. Marcella: Yeah, we all got to go sometime, sir, but we can choose when. Marty: No one chooses when.
43
Marty: A thousand innocent people get killed every day! But a millionaire's pet gets detonated, and you're marked for life.
44
[Practicing in a mirror before his high school reunion] Marty: Hi. I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I - and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Martin Blank, you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.
45
Marcella: You can take care of business and stop by Grosse Pointe for your reunion... Marty: Look, Sgt. Pepper, I really need you to shut up about that. Marcella: Sir, it's out of my hands. The gods want you to go back home and they want to delete someone while you're there.
46
Marty: I was sitting there alone on prom night, in a goddamn rented tuxedo, and my whole life flashed before my eyes. And I realized finally, and for the first time, that I wanted to kill somebody. So I figured since I loved you so much, it'd be a good idea if I didn't see you anymore. [We hear a car pulling in] Marty: They're right behind us. So I was in the Gulf last year, I was doing this thing anyway. And I came up over this dune, and I saw the ocean... and it was on fire. The whole thing, on fire, and it was beautiful. So I just sat there and watched it, and that's when I realized there might be a meaning to life, you know, like an organic power that connects all living things, God, Yahweh, I dunno. [Marty shoots two rounds through the door, taking out the thug behind it]
47
Debi: Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone.
48
Ken McCullard: I do divorce mainly, some property, some personal injury. Marty: They all seem kinda related.
49
Marty: I'm sorry if I fucked up your life. Debi: It's not over yet.
50
Mr. Grocer: Hey, if you're lookin' for a father figure I'll give you a spankin'!
Mooviees.com is not the official site for this film.
All editorial views and opinions expressed here are for entertainment purposes only.
Movie Database
In Theaters
