Other Titles • The Full Monty • Eggs, Beans and Chippendales (1997) • No Man's Land (1997)
Quotes from The Full Monty (1997)
1
Dave: Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.
(20 votes)
2
Police Inspector: Does your daddy always take his clothes off in front of you? Nathan: Only when he's rehearsing.
(15 votes)
3
Gaz: Told 'ya, robbing pipes, that's all. Police officer: Gary, my friend, no bugger robs pipes in the buff. Gaz: We do. Don't get your clothes dirty, do you?
(15 votes)
4
Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] Drownin'. Now there's a way to go. Lomper: I can't swim. Gaz: Well you don't have to fucking swim, you divvy, that's the whole point. God, you're not very keen are you? Lomper: Sorry...
(15 votes)
5
Dave: Well, I just pray they're a bit more understanding about us, that's all. Horse: You what? Dave: Well, they're going to be looking at us like that, aren't they, Eh? I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser."? What happens then, eh? Horse: They wouldn't say that, would they? Dave: Why not? He's just said her tits are too big. Lomper: That's different. We're... blokes. Dave: Yeah, and…? Gerald: I think she's got nice tits, actually. Lomper: I never said owt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her. Dave: No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither. Which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality - this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.
(15 votes)
6
Gerald: He's fat, you're thin, and you're both fucking ugly.
7
Horse: No-one said anything to me about the full monty!
8
Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Folks don't laugh so loud when you've a grand in your back pocket.
9
Gaz: Y' know Dave, it's a thought... Gerald: Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widges hanging out. Now that *would* be worth 10 quid... Gaz: Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying... Gerald: Widges on parade! Bring your own microscope!
10
Dave: The less I eat, the fatter I get. Lomper: So stuff yourself and get thin!
11
Gerald Arthur Cooper: Fat, David, is a feminist issue. Dave: Well, what's that supposed to mean, when it's at home? Gerald Arthur Cooper: I don't bloody know, do I? But it is.
12
Gaz: Gentlemen, the lunchbox has landed!
13
Gaz: I've got a degree in ass wiggling, mate.
14
Gaz: So, uh, Horse... What can you do? Horse: I dunno, really... Let's see, there's the, uh... The bump, the stomp, the bus stop... Me breakdancing days are probably over, but there's always the funky chicken.
15
Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] I know. You could stand in middle of road and have a mate run smack into you right fast. Lomper: Haven't got any mates... Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Listen to you, we just saved your fucking life so don't tell us we're not your mates, all right? Lomper: Really? Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Yeah. Lomper: Thanks. Thanks a lot. Dave: Yeah, me and all, I'd run into ya as soon and I look at ya. Lomper: Cheers.
16
Dave: We want to know about dancing that's all. Gerald Arthur Cooper: Dancers have coordination, skill, timing, fitness, and grace. Take a long, hard look in the mirror.
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