Daffy Duck: We've got to get a new agent. We're getting screwed!
(17 votes)
2
Tweety Bird: Those Monstars'd wished they'd been never born!
(17 votes)
3
Charles Barkley: It was this girl, five-foot-nuthin'. Blocked my shot! Psychiatrist: When did you first start having this dream? Charles Barkley: It wasn't a dream, it really happened!
(15 votes)
4
Tweety Bird: I tought I taw - I did! I did! I did tee Michael Jordan!
(15 votes)
5
Shawn Bradley: I've got other skills... I could go back and work on the farm... or maybe I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again...
(14 votes)
6
Daffy Duck: Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.
7
Daffy Duck: Oh, fear clutches my breast!
8
Mouse announcer: Standing at three foot three, four foot if you count the ears, the co-captain of the tune squad, the doctor of delight: Bugs Bunny!
9
Daffy: How's this for a new team name: The Ducks! Bugs: Please! What kind of Mickey Mouse orginization would name their team The Ducks?
10
[Stan is digging up the golf hole that Michael got sucked down] Golfer: What are you doing? Stan Podalak: I'm uh, I'm fixing a divot. Golfer: Oh. [shouting back to someone off camera] Golfer: He's fixing a divot!
11
Daffy: Let's all laugh at the duck.
12
Daffy Duck: Mother!
13
Muggsy Bogues: What are you saying? That I'm trying to disobey my mama? Psychiatrist: I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy. Muggsy Bogues: But I love my mama.
14
Bill Murray: It's because I'm white, isn't it? Michael Jordan: Larry's white. Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear.
15
Bill Murray: It is alive!
16
[Michael Jordan needs someone to get his basketball gear] Michael Jordan: Don't forget my North Carolina shorts. Daffy Duck: Your shorts? From college? Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game. Looney Toones characters in unision: Eeewwww! Michael Jordan: I washed them after every game! Looney Toones characters in unision: Yeah, okay. Michael Jordan: I did!
17
Larry Johnson: I've been MRI'd, EKG'd, X-Rayed, Laser beamed...
18
Taz: Lemony fresh!
19
[Tweety Bird flies through a hole that's just been shot in Sylvester] Tweety Bird: Holey puddy-tat!
20
Stan Podalak: The mouse? He picked the mouse?
21
[the basketball is approaching one of the Monstars] Monstar Bupkus: That's mine! Bugs: [snatching that basketball before that Monstar would have caught it] Not today.
22
Bugs: Look at our facilities. Daffy: We've got hoops! Elmer Fudd: We've got weights! Sylvester: We've got balls! Michael Jordan: You sure do. This place is a mess.
Daffy: Just how did you get here, anyway? Bill Murray: I'm a friend of one of the producers, he sent a Teamster to drop me off. Daffy: Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.
25
Stan Podalak: C'mon, Michael. Let me help. I'm not very tall but I'm slow. Sylvester: ...and large. Daffy Duck: ...and a dork.
26
Michael Jordan: But I'm a baseball player now. Bugs: Right, and I'm a Shakespearean actor.
27
Stan Podalak: C'mon, Michael, it's game time. Slip on your Hanes, lace up your Nikes, take your Wheaties and your Gatorade, and we'll grab a Big Mac on the way to the ballpark.
28
Michael Jordan: [after winning the game] Thanks guys,you got a lot of... a lot of... well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.
29
[after the hole in one that Michael scored, Stan is going to take a picture of Michael and the golf hole] Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. Okay? Michael Jordan: Yes. Stan Podalak: And you think this is good. Michael Jordan: Just take the picture! Stan Podalak: All right. [a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in] Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that? Stan Podalak: It's just a Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap? Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took ... Larry Bird: Where'd he go?
30
[the Monstars arrive at the gym] Monstar Bupkus: I'm here! Monstar Blanko: Me too. [he hits his head on a hoop backboard] Monstar Blanko: That hurt.
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