Other Titles • Get Shorty • Schnappt Shorty (1996)
Quotes from Get Shorty (1995)
1
Chili Palmer: I can't believe the way you do business out here. I can't believe how fucked-up your organization is. Bo Catlett: I tell you what. How about I count to three, and I organize your fucking brain all over the wall back there. How 'bout that?
2
Chili Palmer: Leo, sit down. I don't know how you got this far, you're so fucking dumb. But you're through now, and let me explain why. Ray Bones is the man that you're dealing with now, and when Bones finds out what you did, he's gonna take everything, including the sporty little hat you got on your head. And then most likely he'll shoot you, so you won't tell on him. Now, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna hurt you. Now you got three hundred and ten thousand in the bag here. I'm gonna take the three hundred thousand that you scammed from the airline, and then the ten that's left over, I'm gonna borrow from you and pay back at another time. Leo: Wait, you take all my money, but you're borrowing part of it? Chili Palmer: At eighteen percent. Now don't ask another fucking question, I'm leaving.
3
Bo Catlett: Mr. Escobar, maybe your nephew panicked and took off. Mr. Escobar: Why are you talking to me this bullshit? I think maybe I have Ramon and Cesar staple your tongue to your chin! What do you think? Bo Catlett: I think you speak very good English, Mr. Escobar.
4
Chili Palmer: Harry, look at me. You're trying to tell me you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do.
5
Chili Palmer: You had a bad day, huh? Karen Flores: I spent all day crawling out of a grave. The director said that I was incapable of reaching the emotional core of the character. Chili Palmer: What? Well, obviously he didn't see you in "Bride of the Mutant." Karen Flores: You saw that one? Chili Palmer: When you turn to the alien mother, and you tell her that her time on earth is finished, Joan Crawford, on her best day, wishes that she had, in her day, the emotion and the intensity that you brought to that scene.
6
Karen Flores: I know I'm better than what I've been doing all these years, walking around in fuck-me pumps and a tank-top, waiting until it was time to scream. Chili Palmer: Yeah, but what a scream. Karen Flores: Oh yeah, it's a real talent. Look, all I'm saying is, what I wouldn't give for the chance to say one really great line. You know, like in that great Bette Davis movie where she says, "I'd kiss you..." Chili Palmer: "But I just washed my hair."
7
Harry Zimm: The guy's been in town two days, and already he thinks he's David O. Fucking Selznick.
8
Bo Catlett: I'm gonna get up, soon as I'm gone, you get up and move over to this same seat I'm in. You feel something under your ass, that's a key to a locker where your half-million is, along with some product we're returning. Powder's been stepped on so many times it's baby food.
9
Leo: But you won't know where I am. I mean, I don't even know where I'll be! Chili Palmer: I'll find you, Leo. You leave a trail like a fucking caterpillar.
10
Nicky: How's Momo these days anyway? Chili Palmer: Dead.
11
Martin: And I'm wondering: how did it all slip away? Karen: Well, it didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party. Martin: Yeah, that was a good party.
12
Ray "Bones" Barboni: [sitting in a toilet reading a magazine, the phone rings] Fuck! [continues sitting in the toilet, the phone rings again and he gets up] Ray "Bones" Barboni: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
13
[after kissing Harry] Doris: Well, aren't you gonna offer me whatever it is you taste like?
14
Chili Palmer: How did you get in here? Ray Bones: It was easy. I told 'em I was you, I acted real stupid and they believed me.
15
Karen: "I'll think about it" means nothing in L.A...
16
Ray "Bones" Barboni: Let me explain something to you. Momo is dead. Which means that everything he had now belongs to Jimmy Cap, including you. Which also means, that when I speak, I speak for Jimmy. E.g., from now on, you start showing me the proper fucking respect. Chili Palmer: "E.g." means "for example". What I think you want to say is "I.e.". Ray "Bones" Barboni: Bullshit! That's short for "ergo". Chili Palmer: Ask your man. Bodyguard: To the best of my knowledge, "e.g." means "for example". Ray "Bones" Barboni: E.g., i.e., fuck you! The point is this: is that, When I say "jump", you say "OK", okay?
17
Karen Flores: Weren't you scared back there? Chili Palmer: You bet. Karen Flores: You don't act like it. Chili Palmer: Well, I was scared then, but I'm not scared now. How long do you want me to be scared?
18
Bo Catlett: You think we watch any of your movies, Harry? I've seen better film on teeth.
19
Chili Palmer: I'm the guy who's telling you the way it is.
20
[Harry Zimm calls Ray Bones on the phone] Harry Zimm: Ray Barboni? Ray "Bones" Barboni: Who is this? Harry Zimm: Are you the guy they called Ray Bones? Ray "Bones" Barboni: It depends. Who is this? Harry Zimm: I'm the one telling you the way it is, okay, asshole? That's who I am. Now you want your three hundred grand or don't you? Ray "Bones" Barboni: What three hundred grand? Harry Zimm: The three hundred grand a guy named Leo Devoe scammed off an airline. The three hundred grand Chili Palmer now has in his possession. Harry Zimm: [after a brief pause] Hello. Are you there? Ray "Bones" Barboni: Yeah, I'm here. I just don't like the anonymous crap. It means your either chickenshit or not for real. Harry Zimm: Well, trust me, I'm very for real. Ray "Bones" Barboni: Okay, so who are you? Harry Zimm: I work for Harry Zimm, alright? Ray "Bones" Barboni: Who? Harry Zimm: Harry Zimm. The man happens to be a major Hollywood player. Ray "Bones" Barboni: Never heard of him. Harry Zimm: Maybe that's because you've never been out've fuckin' Miami, dipshit. Maybe it's time you got on a plane, flew out to L.A. and took a meeting with Mr. Zimm. Ray "Bones" Barboni: So, what, this Zimm guy asking for some kinda finders fee, that what we're talking about here? Harry Zimm: Hey, Zimm doesn't ask for dick. Zimm tells you the way it is... or else. Ray "Bones" Barboni: Or else what? Harry Zimm: Or else use your fucking imagination!
21
Chili Palmer: That's Martin Weir! He's the one who played the mob guy-turned snitch in "Cyclone!" Harry Zimm: One of his best parts. Chili Palmer: No, his best part was when he played the crippled gay guy who climbed Mt. Whitney. Harry Zimm: "Ride the Clouds." Good picture.
22
[first lines] Tommy Carlo: It's fucking cold outside.
23
Chili Palmer: Hey, Karen, how you doing? Karen Flores: What are you doing here? Chili Palmer: Listen, I wanted to come by and apologize for breaking in the way I did last night. Karen Flores: So, let me get this straight. You broke in again to apologize for breaking in before? Chili Palmer: No, no. Your patio door was open. And you shouldn't do that because you got a lot of nice things in this house. Karen Flores: Well, make sure you lock it on your way out.
24
Martin: [to Harry] I'm really glad you rejected me ten years ago when I auditioned for the part of Eddie Solomon, the pedophile clown in "Birthday Boy". If I'd have gotten that part, I might have been typecast.
25
Ray Bones: Fuck you, fuckball.
26
Chili Palmer: Martin, look at me. Martin Weir: I'm looking at you Chili Palmer: No, look at me the way I'm looking at you.
27
Ray Bones: They say the fucking smog is the fucking reason you have such beautiful fucking sunsets.
28
Chili Palmer: I'm not gonna say any more than I have to, if that.
29
Harry Zimm: I once asked this literary agent, uh, what kind of writing paid the best... he said, "Ransom notes."
30
Bo Catlett: What is the point of living in L.A. if you're not in the movie business?
31
Chili Palmer: What is that? Rental Car Attendant: It's an Oldsmobile Silhouette. Chili Palmer: I ordered a Cadillac. Rental Car Attendant: Oh, well, you got the Cadillac of minivans.
32
Harry Zimm: I said I'd think about it. In this town, what does that mean? Nothing! Chili Palmer: Well, that's the difference between you and me, Harry. I say what I mean. I want Martin Weir? I go out and get Martin Weir. I don't fuck around with this bullshit with the trainer's shrink.
33
Chili Palmer: I got an idea for a movie.
34
[to the driver, as he gets into a cab] Ray "Bones" Barboni: The fuckin' airport.
35
Ray "Bones" Barboni: Chili Palmer. It's chilly outside and it's Chili inside. It's a regular fuckin' chili-fest!
36
Bo Catlett: Now, be looking. The man over to your right in the blue wool shirt? [Yayo looks to his left] Bo Catlett: The other way. Derecho! That's a federal officer, most likely DEA. He moves his leg, you look for the bulge. You savvy bulge? [Yayo nods] Bo Catlett: Good, that's his backup piece. [Yayo stares at the fed very hard] Bo Catlett: Hey! Try and do it without looking at him, if you can.
37
Ray "Bones" Barboni: [after being shot by Chilli Palmer] Somebody call 9-fucking-1-1-1! Somebody call 9-fucking-1-1-1! Somebody call 9-fucking-1-1-1!
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