Other Titles • Die Hard: With a Vengeance • Die Hard 3 (1995) • Simon Says (1995)
Quotes from Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
1
[Simon is in one of the dumptrucks driving gold through the unfinished aqueduct] Simon: [on a phone] Rear guard, you can close up now. [pauses, not getting an answer] Simon: We've reached the dam, you can come up now... [pauses again, no answer] Simon: Nils? You can close in now. Nils? John McClane: [on the guard's phone] Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuck-head. So's his pal, and those four guys from the East German All-Stars, your boys at the bank? They're gonna be a little late. Simon: [on the phone] John... in the back of the truck you're driving, there's $13 billon dollars worth in gold bullion. I wonder would a deal be out of the question? John McClane: [on the phone] Yeah, I got a deal for you. Come out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass. Simon: [on the phone] How colorful.
(17 votes)
2
"Are you trying to hit those people?" -- Zeus (SAMUEL L. JACKSON), to John McClane (BRUCE WILLIS), who is speeding through Central Park
(16 votes)
3
"Maybe the mime." -- John McClane, in response.
(15 votes)
4
"You don't like me because I'm white." -- John McClane BRUCE WILLIS), to Zeus (SAMUEL L. JACKSON)
(15 votes)
5
"I don't like you because you're going to get me killed." -- Zeus, in response
(15 votes)
6
Simon: As I was going to St. Ives? / I met a man with seven wives. / Every wife had seven sacks, / Every sack had seven cats, / Every cat had seven kittens. / Kittens, cats, sacks, wives, / How many were going to St. Ives?
7
John McClane: Look I fail you cover my ass. You fail I cover your ass! Zeus: And if we both fail? John McClane: Then were both fucked!
8
John McClane: I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me because you're a racist! Zeus: What? John McClane: You're a racist! You don't like me because I'm white! Zeus: I don't like you because you're going to get me *killed*!
9
Zeus: Didn't I hear you say you didn't even like your brother? Simon: There's a difference between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window.
10
Zeus: Ain't no riddle gonna solve this motherfucker? Simon: No riddle, no code, no fancy little countdown.
11
Zeus: You famous in L.A. or something? John McClane: Yeah, for about five minutes. Zeus: Don't tell me. Rodney King, right?
12
John McClane: Hey, partner! Zeus: I ain't your partner. I ain't your neighbor, your brother, or your friend. I'm your total stranger.
13
Simon: I'm a soldier, not a monster. Though I sometimes work for monsters.
14
[Zeus and McClaine have just stolen a man's car on the highway] Zeus: [to man] Hey! Who was the 21st President? Man: Go fuck yourself!
15
Simon: I want you and the Samaritan at the corner of 72nd and Broadway in fifteen minutes. You understand? John McClane: Yeah, I understand. I understand that you're a fucking wacko who likes to play kids' games. Simon: Hahdly. John McClane: [imitating Simon] Hahdly? Well, what have you got against me anyway? What did I bring you in for? Shoplifting? Purse-snatching? [pauses and puts hand over the receiver] John McClane: Cross-dressing? Simon: You c... c... couldn't c... c... catch me if I stole your ch... ch... chair with you in it! John McClane: My ch... ch... chair with me in it? Well, Simon, why are you trying to k... k... k... kill me?
16
Dr. Schiller: They want you to know who's doing it to you, so this name Simon is probably not an alias. It's probably Simon or some variation. Joe Lambert: [reading a rap sheet] Simon, Robert E. Convicted of kidnapping and extortion, 10 to 15. Served 7 years on good behavior. Released on parole two months ago. John McClane: Bob Simon is a bankrupt businessman who kidnapped his partner's daughter. He's a fuck-up, not a psycho. They guy we're looking for is nuts.
17
John McClane: You know this guy Simon we're talking to? Zeus: Yeah. John McClane: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed at me. Zeus: You mean to tell me that I'm caught up in all this shit because some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?
18
[McClane and Zeus are arguing over how to solve the problem] John McClane: You can't do it that way you dumb, motherfucking...! Zeus: Say it! Say it! John McClane: Say what? Zeus: You were going to call me a nigger, weren't you? John McClane: No I wasn't! Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me? John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!
19
Simon: Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."
20
Simon: I think he's dead my dear.
21
John McClane: Hey, can you pick locks? Zeus: Is this one of those black things again?
22
[McClane removes his shirt and pants] John McClane: You know, you're the first woman since Holly to see me do this. Connie Kowalski: I'm honored... John McClane: Yeah, so was she.
23
John McClane: Hot in here, or am I just scared to death?
24
[Trying to get to one of Simon's destinations on time] Zeus: See, I told you Park Drive was jammed! John McClane: I didn't say through Park Drive. [McClane turns the cab and drives through the park] John McClane: I said through the park.
25
Zeus: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not going anywhere. Inspector Cobb: Simon says you got to go. Zeus: I'm not jumping through hoops for some psycho! That's a white man, with white problems. You deal with him. Call me when he crosses 110th Street.
26
[after dropping McClane off in Harlem with a sign that says "I hate niggers"] Inspector Cobb: We'll be back to pick you up in fifteen minutes. John McClane: Take your time. I expect to be dead in four.
27
Simon: Is there a lieutenant named McClane there? Inspector Cobb: He's on suspension. Simon: No, Arthur, he's not. Not today. Inspector Cobb: Who is this? Simon: Call me Simon. I want to play a game. Inspector Cobb: What kind of game? Simon: "Simon Says". Simon is going to tell Lt. McClane what to do, and Lt. McClane is going to do it. Noncompliance will result in a penalty. Inspector Cobb: What kind of penalty? Simon: Another big bang in a very public place.
28
Simon: Money means shit to me. I would not give up McClane for all the gold in your Fort Knox.
29
Simon: Where are my pigeons now? Inspector Cobb: Pigeons? Simon: I had two pigeons, bright and gay, fly for me the other day. Why is it they did go? You cannot tell, you do not know. Inspector Cobb: You mean McClane? Simon: No, I mean Santa Claus.
30
Zeus: Well, at least I'm gonna die rich. John McClane: I've got bad news for ya, you're only dying with me. Zeus: How the hell do you know? John McClane: I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion worth of gold is making people think you did.
31
[McClane and Zeus break into a car] John McClane: You know how to hot-wire this thing? Zeus: Of course I can, I'm an electrician. Only problem is... [Zeus starts the ignition with his pliers] Zeus: ...it takes too fuckin' long.
32
Simon: Yesterday we were an army with no country, tomorrow we must decide which country we want to buy!
33
[Referring to The Sign of the Cross] Zeus: How do Catholics do their thing? John McClane: North, South, West, East.
34
John McClane: Say hello to your brother.
35
Ricky Walsh: Next, fourteen dumptrucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island. Fourteen! Jesus! Somebody starting a construction company? Joe Lambert: No, it's John's landlady - gonna clean up his apartment.
36
FBI Agent: Does the name Gruber mean anything to you, lieutenant? [Flashback to Hans Gruber falling from Nakatomi Towers] John McClane: It rings a bell, yeah.
37
John McClane: You know that bomb I said they found up in Harlem? Zeus: Yeah, what about it? John McClane: Well, I kind of lied. They found it down in Chinatown. Zeus: Oh that's low man.
38
[about to call Simon with the answer to another riddle] Zeus: Wait a minute, wait a minute, it's a trick! I forgot about the man. John McClane: Man? What man? Fuck the man! I got ten seconds here! Zeus: The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" John McClane: So? Zeus: So, the guy and his wives aren't going anywhere. John McClane: What are they doing? Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moors! How the hell should I know?
39
Zeus: Morning. John McClane: Good morning. Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling alright? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking. [McClane yawns] Zeus: Hey! I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do they will kill you do you understand? You're about to have a very bad day. John McClane: Tell me about it.
40
[Officer Jane is tending to McClane's wounds] Inspector Cobb: How is that? Officer Jane: Nothing wrong with him a shower wouldn't cure. Beer is normally taken internally, John.
41
Dr. Schiller: Yes I was saying that we're dealing with a megalomaniacal personality with possible paranoid schizo... John McClane: Hey, hey! How 'bout you just skip down to the part where you tell me what the fuck this has to do with me.
42
Joe Lambert: Who the hell would want to blow up Bonwit? Connie Kowalski: Did you see a woman miss a shoe sale?
43
John McClane: [to terrorists in a tunnel] Hi, Mickey O'Brien, aquaduct security. We've had a report of a guy coming through here with, uh, eight reindeer. [shoots the terrorists] John McClane: Yeah, they said he was a jolly old fat guy with a snowy white beard. Cute red clothes. I'm surprised you didn't see him.
44
Zeus: Is this a black-shit again? John McClane: Hey will you stop that racial shit? Are you a fuckin' locksmith or not?
45
Zeus: Call 911. Someone's about to get killed. And afterwards you go to school, okay? Raymond & Dexter: [casually] Okay
46
John McClane: Hey dickhead! Did I come at a bad time?
47
[Guard on phone] Federal Reserve Guard 2: Listen, front desk I need help I'm completely surrounded... Simon Gruber: Hey just relax mate, maybe you'll live through this.
48
John McClane: Yippie-kay-yay motherfucker
49
John McClane: I never knew Canada could be this much fun.
50
John McClane: [to Zeus] This guy doesn't care about skin color. Even if you do.
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