Other Titles • Clueless • I Was a Teenage Teenager (1995) • No Worries (1995)
Quotes from Clueless (1995)
1
Cher: Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.
(9 votes)
2
Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true." Cher: Hamlet didn't say that. Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately. Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.
(5 votes)
3
Cher: Oh look, Josh is dancing with Tai, he never dances. Christian: I can see why.
(4 votes)
4
Cher: He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?
(4 votes)
5
"You know how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet." -- Cher (ALICIA SILVERSTONE), explaining why she's still a virgin
(3 votes)
6
Cher: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.
(2 votes)
7
Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Suess? Dionne: Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack. Cher: It's faux.
(2 votes)
8
Amber: She could be a farmer in those clothes.
(3 votes)
9
Cher: Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.
10
Cher: Old people can be so sweet.
11
Christian: Hey man, protective vibe, I dig.
12
Cher: Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.
13
Cher: Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.
14
Mel: Do you know what time it is? Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.
15
Mel: What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?
16
Amber: Was I the only one listening?I thought it reeked. Cher: No I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.
17
Christian: Do you like Billie Holiday? Cher: I love him.
18
Josh: You look like Pippi Longstocking. Cher: Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's Pippi Longstocking? Josh: Someone Mel Gibson never played.
19
Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree. Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees.
20
Cher: You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses? Driving Instructor: Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.
21
Cher: That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.
22
Cher: Ms. Stoger. That machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. Miss Stoger: Thanks for the legal advice.
23
Cher: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.
24
Cher: Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.
25
Cher: Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.
(1 vote)
26
Cher: Dionne and her boyfriend Murray are in this dramatic relationship. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie too many times.
27
Mr.Hall: So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton? Elton: Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it.
28
Dionne: Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.
29
Cher: [seeking a match for her teacher] Unfortunately, There was a major babe drought at my school. The evil trolls from the math department were actually married and in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.
30
Travis: I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.
31
Cher: I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice.
32
Cher: D, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.
33
Travis: I joined this program and there's steps. There's... uh... Cher: Twelve? Travis: Yeah, how'd you know? Cher: Wild guess.
34
Tai: Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive. Cher: That was way harsh, Tai.
35
Cher: Would you call me selfish? Dionne: No, not to your face.
36
Mel: So, what did you do in school today? Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.
37
Cher: Are you talking about drugs? Tai: Yeah. Cher: Tai, how old are you? Tai: I'll be 16 in May. Cher: My birthday is in April and as someone older, can I please give you some advice? It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.
38
Tai: Cher, I don't want to do this anymore. And my buns: they don't feel nothin' like steel.
39
Cher: I want to do something for humanity. Josh: How about sterilization?
40
Murray: Woman, lend me fi' dollas. Dionne: Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman". Murray: Excuse me, "Ms. Dionne." Dionne: Thank you. Murray: My street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones.
41
Mel: What the hell is that? Cher: A dress. Mel: Says who? Cher: Calvin Klein.
42
Dionne: Phat! Did you write that? Cher: Duh. It's like a famous quote. Dionne: From where? Cher: Cliff's Notes.
43
Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.
44
Cher Horowitz: I was just totally clueless.
45
Cher: Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?
46
Cher: Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.
47
Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
48
Josh: You want to practice parking? Cher: What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.
49
Cher: Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter.
50
Tai: I could really use some sort of herbal refreshment. Dionne: Oh, well we do lunch in ten minutes. We don't have any tea, but we have Coke and stuff. Tai: No shit. You guys got Coke here? Dionne: Well, yeah. Cher: Yeah, this is America.
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