"To Cameron, moviemaking isn't just a business, it's an adventure. 'I like to keep challenging myself,' he says, 'so I try different things. And a lot of the things I like to try are expensive. I will say what I say about every budget: the price of a ticket is $7.50, and you're getting a lot of movie for it. End of story." --Richard Corliss, TIME, July 18, 1994
(15 votes)
2
[about Harry's daughter] Gib: Do you think she's still a virgin? Harry: Dont be ridiculous, she's only - -what is she now? Gib: She's fourteen! Harry: She's fourteen years old! Gib: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.
(15 votes)
3
Harry: Helen is having an affair. Gib: Welcome to the club!
(15 votes)
4
Samir: Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start? Harry: Yeah: I'm going to kill you pretty soon.
(15 votes)
5
Gib: What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?
(15 votes)
6
Faisil: They call him the Sand Spider. Spencer Trilby: Why? Faisil: Probably because it sounds scary.
7
[to Dana, who's wearing a helmet] Gib: Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.
8
Simon: Would a spy pee himself?
9
Harry: Ask me a question I would normally lie to. Helen Tasker: Are we going to die? Harry: Yep!
10
Gib: Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.
11
Helen Tasker: Have you ever killed anyone? Harry: Yeah, but they were all bad.
12
Simon: Let's face it. The 'Vette... gets 'em wet!
13
Simon: I have to lie to women to get laid. And I don't score much. I got a really small dick, it's pathetic.
14
[while launching a Harrier missile, from which Salim Abu Aziz is hanging] Harry: You're fired!
15
Harry: There *is* no us, you psychopathic bitch!
16
Gib: Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em!
17
[after watching her husband kill dozens of men] Helen Tasker: I married Rambo!
18
Helen Tasker: I married Rambo.
19
Juno Skinner: Ok, Suzie Homemaker. Let's go.
20
Simon: Men want this car for only one reason: pussy.
21
Gib: The guy is a used car salesman! This just keeps getting better and better! [Harry gives him a dirty look] Gib: I'm sorry, Harry, I know this is hard for you. But you gotta admit if this was me you'd be laughing your ass off!
22
Harry: You tell on me, I tell on you. Gib: What are you talking about, I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. I'm as clean as... Harry: What about that time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job? Gib: You knew about that? Harry: Uh-huh.
23
Gib: I'm beginning to like this guy. [Harry gives him a mean look] Gib: Oh, we've still gotta kill him. That's a given.
24
[talking about Harry Tasker's wife, in a car with Simon] Helicopter Pilot: Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap alright. Yahoo. [to Harry Tasker] Gib: Maybe she's sleepy.
25
Gib: Harry, ditch the bitch.
26
[Harry becomes angered when he discovers that Helen may be having an affair] Gib: What did you expect, Harry? Helen's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there. It was only a matter of time.
27
[last lines] Gib: You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys are going to be in the van next time. I've been in the van for 15 years, Harry.
28
Gib: So your life's in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!
29
[Simon attempting to have sex with Helen] Helen Tasker: No, I can't. I can't! [Simon still persuing] Simon: If not for me, Helen, do it for your country!
30
Harry: The code name of your assignment will be... Boris. And your code name will be... Helen Tasker: [hopeful] Natasha? Harry: No... Doris.
31
Faisil: Care to tango? Gib: Yes, I do. Harry: Assholes.
32
Faisil: [Hacking into a computer] Yes! Files are unlocked! Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm doing, man! I've got my hand up her skirt, and I AM GOIN... Gib: Just copy the goddam files, OK?
33
Harry: But what about their husbands? Simon: Dickless! I mean let's face it, if they were taking care of business, I'd be outta business!
34
[Harry returns to the van after escaping the castle] Harry: Hi guys. Gib: Well that worked real good. Right out the old front gate. Harry: Can you lean back a second... [Harry shoots two remaining pursuers]
35
Harry: Can you hurry up. My horse is getting tired. Gib: Your horse?
36
[Salim Abu Aziz reveals a nuclear weapon] Salim Abu Aziz: Do you know what this is? Harry: I know what this is... [Salim smiles] Harry: This is an espresso machine. [Salim frowns] Harry: No, no wait. It's a snow cone maker. [Salim approaches Harry] Harry: Is it a water heater?
37
Gib: [over radio] Alright twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy? Harry: I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate. Gib: [over radio] Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.
38
Gib: It's called ice and it gets a little slick.
39
[Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter] Gib: Harry, do you realize it has, in fact, been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things? Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.
40
Harry Tasker: First I'm gonna use you as a human shield, then I gonna take that Patterson trocar and kill the guard with it. Then I was thinking about breaking your neck. Samir: And how are you going to do all that? Harry: You know my handcuffs? Samir: Yes... Harry: [hold his hands up] I picked them.
41
Spencer Trilby: Sweet Jesus, Harry, you surely screwed the pooch last night, didn't you?
42
Gib: Harry? Harry? You do not have time to tango, buddy. You copy?
43
Spencer Trilby: So far, this is not blowing my skirt up, gentlemen.
44
Harry: Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.
45
[Harry sticks an unconscious terrorist's head in a bathroom urinal and flushes it] Harry Tasker: Cool off.
46
[Harry lights up a cigarette and starts coughing] Gib: Dickhead. Harry: Blow me.
47
Faisil: It's a scale really, with a perfect mission at one end and a total pooch screw at the other, and we're right about in the middle.
48
Party Guard: Can I see your invitation? Harry: Sure, here's my invitation. [blows shed sky-high]
49
Harry: [Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, and notices something, pulling over] Give me the page! Gib: What? Harry: This jumps from page 9 to page 11. Gib: [looks at paper] Must be a typo. Harry: [shouts] Give me the goddamn page! [smashes passenger side window with his bare fist] Gib: [Gib looks at the window, and quickly grabs page 10 from his coat] OK.
50
Gib: [when Harry tells Gib to tap Helen's phone] Ok, I've got two words for that. In. Sane.
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