Godzilla 2000: Millennium (1999)

GODZILLA 2000

Review by John Beachem

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Directed by: Takao Okawara
Written by: Hiroshi Kashiwabara

The big green guy is back, and he starts off with a bang. Godzilla is terrorizing a small bay community while a group of Godzilla trackers follows him. The group consists of Yuji Shinoda (Takehiro Murata), a scientist who has been studying Godzilla for years; his daughter, Io (Mayu Suzuki), who appears to be an expert with electrical equipment; and a reporter, Yuki Ichinose (Naomi Nishida). Meanwhile, a meteor has been discovered by Dr. Shiro Miyazaki (Shiro Sano), an old friend of Yuji. It turns out that the meteor is actually an alien spacecraft. The local government, led by Yuji's long time enemy, Mitsuo Katagiri (Hiroshi Abe), orders it and Godzilla destroyed. Yuji has other plans for Godzilla, since he has determined that the lizard's healing factor can be harnessed and used to revolutionize modern medicine. Nevertheless, Katagiri wants the lizard destroyed, and he sets out to do just that. However, before Katagiri can carry out his dastardly plan, the alien's plans are learned by Yuji. The plan is to destroy the earth, and Godzilla is needed to do that (it's never exactly explained why). So what does the alien do? Why it changes into possibly the goofiest looking alien creature ever and takes on Godzilla, mano-a-mano.

Ah nostalgia, how it can cause us to do foolish things. Is there any reason other than because you're feeling nostalgic that you'd go to see a movie like "Godzilla 2000"? It can't be because you're looking for great special effects, acting, plot, dialogue, or cinematography, because that's not what Godzilla movies are about. Godzilla movies are about, uh, guys in big rubber suits destroying Tokyo. Hmm, that sounds mildly ridiculous doesn't it? Maybe so, but that's exactly what you expect out of a Godzilla movie. You want to see the big green lizard smash up Tokyo for awhile until a big, climactic showdown with another monster. If that's not what you want to see, what in the world are you doing reading this review? So, now that we've gotten all that out of the way, you're probably wondering how "Godzilla 2000" holds up as compared to the multitude of past Godzilla flicks. Well, it's rather a hit and miss situation I'm afraid. You see, all the requisite props for a Godzilla movie are present. We've got tanks and helicopters and strange new weapons to hurl at the big guy even though we know they're not going to do a bit of good; we've got the strange new threat that only Godzilla can defeat; and we've got the good scientist who knows this but no one in the military will listen to him. Unfortunately, we've got one more thing that past Godzilla flicks haven't had. We've got lots and lots of inane, scientific ramblings to fill up time that could be better spent watching the lizard blow things up.

Normally I devote this section of the review to a critique of the acting in a film, but, well, this is Godzilla. "Godzilla 2000", as you all should know, is not a movie which can be criticized in any way for acting for two reasons: one, the dubbing is so bad you can't tell if the actors are doing well or not; and two, Godzilla movies aren't about real actors, they're about extras who run around in panic while things explode all around them. So instead I'm going to devote this paragraph to the ways in which this newest Godzilla movie is different from the ones in the past. First of all, the dubbing seems to have actually gotten worse. At least before the actors' mouths would be moving while the inane dialogue spilled forth. Second, the filming actually looks a bit more professional this time around, at least at the start of the film. Never fear though, I think they used up the entire budget in the first twenty minutes or so, and the film's look more closely matches that of the original films by the end. Third, there's a lot more swearing in this Godzilla film than I remember in past ones, but that could just be my memory playing tricks on me (it's been known to do that 99% of the time). Last is the fact that in the past the humans have always hurled all their weapons at Godzilla, he's gotten really angry, and all the human weapons have been destroyed. In this version, the humans' weapons don't even slow the big guy down. He doesn't bother destroying any of them because he couldn't seem to care less that they're there. Maybe his skin gets tougher with age.

In case you didn't notice, the plot to this Godzilla film sounds a little bit complicated. That's because this one is so full of scientific baloney they forgot to give people what they really wanted. We still get great, classic lines like: "That thing's tied down with electromagnetic cables, it's not going anywhere." When you know the monster's going to break out right after those words are spoken. Yet the rest of the film is filled with talk about Godzilla's regeneration abilities, and how old the meteor is, and all sorts of other things the audience couldn't care less about. The big showdown at the end is enjoyable enough; but the rest of the film is just talk, and I could tell everyone was getting more than a little antsy. Having suffered through such classics as "Godzilla vs. Megalon", I have a pretty good idea what kind of Godzilla movie true fans of the franchise like, and "Godzilla 2000" doesn't quite meet the standard. Despite improved special effects (his atomic breath looks much cooler now), both the quality and length of the Godzilla fights have gone down. We get no more than five minutes of Godzilla smashing buildings and power lines; and his fight with the alien, while entertaining, doesn't come close to his battle with, say, Mothra.

Sadly enough, a movie as cheesy as this one has a better soundtrack than most mainstream Hollywood productions. It's really nothing more than a mix of different classical pieces thrown together, but it's used wisely and it's usually appropriate to the scene being played (I hope Hollywood producers are taking notes). One last thing I had to note, something which simply cracked me up, was the vanishing scenery. For example, in one scene we have a four-wheeler driving over a large pile of dirt to get into a tunnel. When Godzilla forces the group to drive out of the tunnel in reverse, the pile of dirt has vanished. This happens in numerous scenes, if you look hard enough, but that was the most blatant example. I'd recommend this latest entry into the franchise to those who were disappointed by the American version from 1998 (What do you mean that's everyone?) and want to see the big guy back in a rubber suit, like god intended. Just make sure your expectations are nice and low before going in. "Godzilla 2000" runs a decent 90 minutes, and I give it three out of five stars.

Comments? Send to: johnbeachem@dependentfilms.net

Past reviews can be found at: http://www.epinions.com/user-elerad?public=yes or http://us.imdb.com/ReviewsBy?John+Beachem

* * * * * - One of the best movies of the year. * * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one. * * * - Okay movie, hits and misses. * * - Pretty bad, see it at your own risk. * - See this one only if you enjoy pain.

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