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The Private Eyes (1981) - movie quotes

The Private Eyes (1981)

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Quotes (12)
Plot Description
Soundtrack
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Directed by
Lang Elliott

Written by
Tim Conway, John Myhers

Cast
Tim Conway, Don Knotts, Trisha Noble, Bernard Fox, Grace Zabriskie [more]


DVD Release Date
• R1: Oct 10, 2000

MPAA Rating
PG

Running Time
1 hour, 31 minutes

Country USA

Studio New World, Tri-Star

More info on IMDb.com

Other Titles
• The Private Eyes



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 Quotes from The Private Eyes (1981)
1
[Reading a note next to the dead Hilda]
Dr. Tart: Hilda is dead, and here's something to note. You can't bury her at sea, 'cause her bosoms will float.

  
2
Justin: This is Inspector Winship and Dr. Tart. They were in the yard.
Inspector Winship: That's FROM the Yard.

  
3
Mr. Uwatsum: You want a hummingbird cookie?
Dr. Tart: No thank you.
Mr. Uwatsum: How about a bowl of fish eyes?
Dr. Tart: Uh... no.

  
4
Inspector Winship: For a short person, you have long sentences.

  
5
Dr. Tart: You want another glass of pus?
Inspector Winship: No I don't want another glass of pus!

  
6
Inspector Winship: You know, I have an idea. Whoever wrote that letter must have read about us in the newspaper.
Dr. Tart: What is it?
Inspector Winship: What's what?
Dr. Tart: The idea you have?
Inspector Winship: I just told you!
Dr. Tart: What was it?
Inspector Winship: Whoever wrote that letter must have read about us in the newspaper.
Dr. Tart: Right! Now that letter was signed 'Lord Morley'. So he must have read about us in the newspaper and called us in to solve his murder.
Inspector Winship: How could Lord Morley write us after he was already dead?
Dr. Tart: Right! You know what? Maybe whoever killed Lord Morley wrote that letter.
Inspector Winship: If you killed Lord Morley would you write to someone and ask them to find the killer?
Dr. Tart: Are you saying *I* killed Lord Morley?
Inspector Winship: (aggravated) No! I'm saying you kill me!

  
7
Dr. Tart: [reading the note from Jock's killer] If Jock could talk, he'd give you a clue. But now that he's dead, what can you do? He deserved what he got, I don't regret it a bit. By the way, you're standing in bull ca-ca.

  
8
Dr. Tart: [reading the note from the killer] I said when I died, that I'd come back. If you believe in ghosts, you're on the right track. I'm out of the grave, and roaming the moores. If you want to be safe, you better lock all the windows and screens.

  
9
Doll voice: Listen up dummies. The help is all gone, the house is bare. Now you know, a shadow is there. There's one left to die, then my job'll be done. I like killing people, it's a lotta kicks!

  
10
Dr. Tart: [reading the note from Uwatsum's killer] In this house, it's hard to survive. Some'll be dead, who are now alive. Mr. Uwatsum is gone, 'cause he knew too much. Bye for now, but rest assured we'll keep in constant contact with each other.

  
11
Dr. Tart: [reading the tombstone engraved by Tibet's killer] To dig your own grave, is quite a sight. But to bury yourself, is not very bright. There are more to kill, and the job'll be done. Now there are five, soon there'll be a lot less.

  
12
Dr. Tart: [reading the note from Lord Morley] Now you will see, I can do something right. I'm going to show you, a killer tonight. I want Phyllis to come to my chamber, and see. Who what the one, who murdered Lady Morley and myself.

  


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