Ned: Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you! Phil: Hi, thanks for watching. [Starts to walk away] Ned: Hey now, don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you. Phil: Not a chance. Ned: Ned... Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson, I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told me not to anymore? Well? Phil: Ned Ryerson? Ned: BING! Phil: Bing.
2
Ned: Phil? Phil: Ned. [Punches Ned in the face]
3
Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car? Ralph: I think... both.
4
[to Rita about Phil] Larry: Did he actually refer to himself as "the talent"?
5
Phil: I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think.
6
Larry: People think that all cameramen do is point the camera at things, but it's a *heck* of a lot more complicated than that.
7
Phil: Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.
8
Rita: [as Phil kisses Rita over and over discovering that he has finally passed Groundhog Day] Phil, why weren't you like this last night? You just fell asleep. Phil: It was the end of a VERY long day.
9
Elderly Lady whose flat tire Phil fixed: He's the fastest jack in Jefferson County!
10
Man in Hallway: Think it'll be an early spring? Phil: Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao. Man in Hallway: Ciao.
11
Phil Connors: Excuse me, where is everyone going? Fan on Street: To Gobbler's Knob. It's Groundhog Day. Phil Connors: It's still just once a year, right?
12
[Driving down the railroad tracks toward an approaching train] Phil: I'm betting he's going to swerve first.
13
Phil: I am asking you for help. Rita: Well, what do you want me to do? Phil: I don't know. You're a producer. Think of something.
14
Phil: There is a major network interested in me. Larry: That would be the Home Shopping Network.
15
Rita: Are you drunk or something? Phil: Drunk is more fun.
16
Ned: Do you have life insurance, Phil? Because if you do, you could always use a little more, I mean, who couldn't? But let me tell something - I got's a feeling [whistles] Ned: you ain't got any. Am I right or am I right or am I right?
17
Phil: I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...
18
Ned: What are you doing later? Phil: Something else.
19
First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today. Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach? First D.J.: Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips. Second D.J.: On their chapped lips First D.J.: their chapped lips is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its [in unison] First D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY Second D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY
20
Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way. Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.
21
Phil: You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
22
Phil: Do you know what today is? Rita: No, what? Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened.
23
Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me? Phil: No thank you. I've seen Larry eat.
24
Mrs. Lancaster: Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors? Phil: I slept alone, Mrs. Lancaster.
25
Phil: So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned, didn't you? Rita: You're incredible. Phil: Who told you?
26
Phil: Do you ever have deja vu Mrs. Lancaster? Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.
27
Rita: Why would anybody want to steal a groundhog? Larry: I can think of a couple of reasons... the pervert.
28
Phil: Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?
29
Phil: Can I be serious with you with you for a minute? Rita: I don't know. Can you?
30
Phil: Well, it's Groundhog Day... again... and that must mean we're up here at Gobbler's Knob waiting for the forecast from the world's most-famous groundhog weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil, who's just about to tell us how much more winter we can expect.
31
Phil: Can I talk to you about a matter that is not work-related? Rita: You never talk about work.
32
Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered? Ralph: That about sums it up for me.
33
[Phil Connors drives (because Ralph and Gus are drunk) right through a mailbox] Gus: Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive.
34
Phil: It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever.". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track." Gus: Eh, Phil. That's one I happen to agree with.
35
[Phil Connors is stopped by the police after some crazy driving] Phil: Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes and a large coke. Ralph: [to Phil] And some flapjacks. Phil: [to Cop] Too early for flapjacks?
36
Phil: There is no way this winter is *ever* going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.
37
Piano Teacher: Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first lesson? Phil: Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*, so...
38
Rita: Have you ever had déjà-vu? Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?
39
Phil: I've been stabbed, shocked, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. Rita: Oh, really? Phil: Every day I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender... I am an immortal.
40
Rita: What did you do today? Phil: Oh, same-old same-old.
41
Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again. Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.
42
Phil: Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.
43
Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.
44
Phil: Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to.
45
Phil: Don't mess with me, Porkchop.
46
Phil Connors: This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Well, it used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to *eat* it. You're hypocrites, all of you! You have a problem with what I'm saying, Larry? [Larry shakes his head "no."] Phil Connors: Untie your tongue, and you come out here and talk, huh? Am I upsetting you, Princess? [Rita shakes her head "no."]
47
Gus: Phil? Like the groundhog Phil? Phil: Yeah, like the groundhog Phil. Gus: Look out for your shadow there, buddy. Phil: Morons, your bus is leaving.
48
Doris: Do you want more coffee, hon?
49
Nurse: Sometimes, people just die. Phil: Not today.
50
[sitting outside the local bank] Phil: A gust of wind. [a gust of wind blows] Phil: A dog barks. [a dog barks in the distance] Phil: Cue the truck. [an armored truck drives up] Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank. [Herman gets out of the armored truck and walks into the bank] Phil: Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face. [Felix gets out of truck and stands there] Phil: All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey... That's better. [Doris walks up fixing her outfit] Phil: [impersonating Doris] Felix. [Doris says, "Felix"] Phil: [impersonating Felix] How ya doin' Doris? [Felix asks Doris a question] Phil: [impersonating Doris] Can I have a roll of quarters? [Doris asks Felix for a roll of quarters] Phil: [Phil stands up and begins to walk towards the armored car, counting to himself] Phil: 10, 9, 8, car... [a car drives in front of Phil] Phil: ...6, 5, quarters... [roll of quarters breaks open, hitting the ground] Phil: ...3, 2... [Phil reaches over Felix and takes a bag of money out of the back of the armored truck] Herman: Felix, did I bring out two bags or one? Felix: I dunno. [scratches his head]
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