Vada: I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff.
2
Vada: I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction. [to father] Vada: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate that my right. It can only mean one thing. Cancer. I'm dying. Harry: Okay, Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge.
3
Vada: Pacifist! Thomas J. Sennett: Am not! Vada: Bed wetter! Thomas J. Sennett: I stopped that!
4
Vada: Why do you think people want to get married? Thomas J. Sennett: When you get old, you just have to.
5
Shelly: She won't come out. It's been a whole day. You have to do something, Harry. Harry: The funeral's starting. Shelly: Open your eyes, she's eleven years old! Her only friend in the world is dead. Harry: I know that, but what do you want from me? Shelly: Stop hiding, Harry! You run, Harry. When I first came here, the idea of working with dead people didn't exactly thrill me. When I saw a family that lived here... I thought, if I'm living without a family, at least I can work with one... and maybe once in a while be invited in for supper. Harry: Yeah... and when those suppers are disrupted because there's a car crash, or there's a fire, or a little boy steps on a beehive. Shelly: I'm not asking you to stop caring for those people. But life isn't just death, Harry. Don't ignore the living... especially your daughter...
6
Vada: I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler. Thomas J. Sennett: You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law. Vada: It is not. Thomas J. Sennett: Yes it is, 'cause then he'll give you all A's, and it won't be fair.
7
Vada: Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing, do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping willow, stop your tears. There is something to calm you fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart. But I know he'll always be in your heart.
8
Justin: Feel my aura. Vada Sultenfuss: I don't think I'm allowed to.
9
Thomas J. Sennett: Vada? Vada Sultenfuss: Yeah? Thomas J. Sennett: Would you think of me? Vada Sultenfuss: For what? Thomas J. Sennett: Well, if you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler. Vada Sultenfuss: I guess.
10
Vada: Daddy, how come this coffin's so small? Harry: They come in all sizes honey, like shoes. Vada: Is it for a child? Harry: Of course not! Vada: Then, for who is it? Harry: Short people, very short people.
11
Thomas J. Sennett: So, what'd he say was wrong with you? Vada: This whole medical profession is crack.
12
Shelly DeVoto: This Phil, Harry, Gramoo, and Vada Sultenfuss. Danny: Vada Sultenfuss? Tough break. Vada Sultenfuss: I like my name.
13
Shelly: They're dead. All they have are their looks.
14
Vada: [Vada is locked in the basement] Let me out of here. Let me out of here. [blocks ears with her hands] Vada: There she was just a walking down the street singing Do Wah Diddy Diddy.
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